Mon 8-Mar-10 (Vacation day #3)

Heavy rain all Sunday night but cleared before sunrise. Kids at each other. Me losing temper and authority as a parent. I don't seem to have the maturity, attitude or willingness to cope at present. Kids enjoying feeding birds and having them in their hands. Loneliness at night so real. Not having Maria around for the day-to-day holiday activities is tough. Feel I don't get any real break. Don't know how to get the kids to open up. Gabi occasionally mentions missing Maria, usually before bed. Need the Lord's wisdom and guidance. Need the energy to get through each day. Continuing with the book tonight. Getting into it, but might give it a night's rest tomorrow.