It started raining late last night and continued throughout the evening. I slowly got going in the morning and we were all hanging out in our pyjamas. I thought I should confirm Ben's game was cancelled and was shocked to hear it was still on. We madly rushed to get there (on the other side of Canberra) in time for the kick-off. It was pouring when we left but by the time we reached our destination it was wet but only overcast. The kids had fun playing in the rain and although they kicked the last four goals, they lost by a behind (i.e. one point).
We raced to a shopping centre to buy a gift for Tom's birthday and got home in time to change out of wet clothes and hit the road. We were 1/2hr late getting there. We had a nice time and drove back this evening. The drive back was a little wet but with little traffic.
National Day of Thanksgiving
Today is the National Day of Thanksgiving. It's an opportunity for Australians to celebrate and give thanks for our God given heritage as a nation and to demonstrate the God given values of honour, respect, thankfulness and gratitude towards our fellow man that have made us the great nation we are. It is a day for us to pause as a nation and say thank you to God and to each other for those many things we often take for granted but which really make our lives worth living. We are asked to use this day to be a blessing to those who have been a blessing to us during the past year.
The history is that the Australian Prayer Network championed this cause and the Day was confirmed at a meeting of National ministry leaders at Parliament House Canberra on the 17 June 2003. They voted unanimously to support the Australian Prayer Network in their initiative. It was decided to hold a National Day of Thanksgiving on the Saturday of Pentecost weekend each year and to seek to have the day included in our national calendar. (taken from http://www.thanksgiving.org.au)
The reason for all of this background is that when the kids went to the car this morning they found a box of flowers with a handmade card attached. Psalm 40:4 was quoted and a lovely message, which was a blessing to me. It was unsigned. All I know is that it was a woman's handwriting. Thank you to the anonymous person, whoever you are! Feel free to identify yourself to me if you so desire.
28 May 2010
Fri 28-May-10 (Morning hiccup, weekend ahead)
We were running late this morning, leaving home at 9:00am. School starts at 9:10 and it usually takes less than 10 minutes to get there. We jumped into the car to find it wouldn't start.
Cathy came to my rescue, collecting the kids as I was trying to arrange for roadside assistance to attend. I discovered during the call that I had subscribed when I bought the car, but I was able to sort that out.
They arrived less than 30mins and fortunately the battery didn't need replacing. It seems that someone (Ben) left one of the doors ajar (not the first time). After all the drama, I was only 1/2hr late to work.
Many people were away because of sickness or leave so it was very quiet with only my team present. It was a good opportunity to be a little less distracted.
We're all pretty tired from the week gone by. Ben has footy tomorrow and in the afternoon we are driving to Cooma for my nephew's (B&G's cousin's) 10th birthday party. We'll arrive home probably early evening.
We will try and get to church on Sunday. We haven't been very often since committing to go. We like going, but have been distracted due to other events on weekends for us and not feeling part of the church as per our previous experiences here and overseas. To clarify, we know quite a few people there and certainly enjoy their company and fellowship (I suppose that is a significant part of church community) but don't feel that bond to the church itself. Perhaps it's because we're not involved (albeit we're not ready to).
Cathy came to my rescue, collecting the kids as I was trying to arrange for roadside assistance to attend. I discovered during the call that I had subscribed when I bought the car, but I was able to sort that out.
They arrived less than 30mins and fortunately the battery didn't need replacing. It seems that someone (Ben) left one of the doors ajar (not the first time). After all the drama, I was only 1/2hr late to work.
Many people were away because of sickness or leave so it was very quiet with only my team present. It was a good opportunity to be a little less distracted.
We're all pretty tired from the week gone by. Ben has footy tomorrow and in the afternoon we are driving to Cooma for my nephew's (B&G's cousin's) 10th birthday party. We'll arrive home probably early evening.
We will try and get to church on Sunday. We haven't been very often since committing to go. We like going, but have been distracted due to other events on weekends for us and not feeling part of the church as per our previous experiences here and overseas. To clarify, we know quite a few people there and certainly enjoy their company and fellowship (I suppose that is a significant part of church community) but don't feel that bond to the church itself. Perhaps it's because we're not involved (albeit we're not ready to).
Mercer Worldwide surveys: TOP 50 - Quality of Living & Eco-city
Mercer run two Worldwide surveys. I have summarised how Canberra and Australia fared overall.
As a brief background for our overseas friends, Australia has 6 states, 2 territories (just think of it as 8 states), each with their own capital city. As a biased patriotic Aussie, I think the following results are very impressive
Quality of Living Survey
Canberra was rated # 26 behind: Vienna, Zurich, Geneva, Vancouver, Auckland, Dusseldorf, Frankfurt, Munich, Bern, Sydney, Copenhagen, Wellington, Amsterdam, Ottawa, Brussels, Toronto, Berlin, Melbourne, Luxembourg, Stockholm, Perth, Montreal, Hamburg, Nurnburg, and Oslo.
It was amazing for our small city to be rated ahead of every city in the US and major international cities like London, Barcelona, Tokyo and Singapore.
We had 4 of our 8 cities in the top 26, and another 2 in the next 10 places.
Apparently it's the first time Canberra has been included in this survey which ranks cities on a variety of criteria including:
As a brief background for our overseas friends, Australia has 6 states, 2 territories (just think of it as 8 states), each with their own capital city. As a biased patriotic Aussie, I think the following results are very impressive
Quality of Living Survey
Canberra was rated # 26 behind: Vienna, Zurich, Geneva, Vancouver, Auckland, Dusseldorf, Frankfurt, Munich, Bern, Sydney, Copenhagen, Wellington, Amsterdam, Ottawa, Brussels, Toronto, Berlin, Melbourne, Luxembourg, Stockholm, Perth, Montreal, Hamburg, Nurnburg, and Oslo.
It was amazing for our small city to be rated ahead of every city in the US and major international cities like London, Barcelona, Tokyo and Singapore.
We had 4 of our 8 cities in the top 26, and another 2 in the next 10 places.
Apparently it's the first time Canberra has been included in this survey which ranks cities on a variety of criteria including:
- economic stability;
- infrastructure and transport facilities;
- crime rates;
- the quality of restaurants, theatres and cinemas; and
- its relative strength in areas of education, the environment, housing, sporting facilities.
Eco-city
Canberra was rated # 21 behind: Calgary, Honolulu, Ottawa, Helsinki, Wellington, Minneapolis, Adelaide, Copenhagen, Kobe, Oslo, Stockholm, Perth, Montreal, Vancouver, Nurnberg, Auckland, Bern, Pittsburg, Zurich, and Aberdeen.
This time we had 5 of our 8 cities in the top 25 (glad to see my American friends also scored 5 cities in the top 25). Like the other survey, overall we had six cities in the 50.
The criteria for this survey included:
- water availability;
- water potability;
- waste removal;
- sewage;
- air pollution; and
- traffic congestion.
Thu 27-May-10 (two nice, yet emotional meetings)
Jim, a colleague of mine from a former agency (back then we were both seconded from our respective police services) flew into town for a meeting and had time to catch up for a very long coffee (I took an extended lunch) break. We hadn't seen each other for some time. It was lovely to chat about those times, our respective families and "where to from here" for us both. It is also emotional (I don't show it) to see someone who brings back vivid memories of times together, including with Maria.
I arrived at Ben's footy training and engaged in deep conversation with one of the mums. She and I have been chatting briefly at training or the games but usually there have been quite a few distractions. We were both aware of each other's loss, but it wasn't until tonight that I realised she lost her husband to a rare type of brain tumour. Albeit there are some similarities in illnesses, their journeys were quite different. Her husband died within 2-3 months from onset of illness, partly because it wasn't diagnosed till extremely late. The outcome may have still been the same, even if caught when it was. She has two boys, one in Ben's team and an older brother. It was emotional, yet nice to talk with someone going through the same challenges, especially sharing about our kids' respective journeys.
I arrived at Ben's footy training and engaged in deep conversation with one of the mums. She and I have been chatting briefly at training or the games but usually there have been quite a few distractions. We were both aware of each other's loss, but it wasn't until tonight that I realised she lost her husband to a rare type of brain tumour. Albeit there are some similarities in illnesses, their journeys were quite different. Her husband died within 2-3 months from onset of illness, partly because it wasn't diagnosed till extremely late. The outcome may have still been the same, even if caught when it was. She has two boys, one in Ben's team and an older brother. It was emotional, yet nice to talk with someone going through the same challenges, especially sharing about our kids' respective journeys.
25 May 2010
Tue 25-May-10 (Happy birthday Luka)
Happy birthday to our precious nephew/cousin, who turns 2 today!
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| Luka, Gabi, Magnus (February 2010) |
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| Maria & Luka (August 2009) |
24 May 2010
School photos
Here are Ben and Gabi's school photos, which arrived on Friday afternoon. I know it's a biased statement, but they are so gorgeous and photogenic, just like their mum!
23 May 2010
Sun 23-May-10 (drive home. Pac-Man 30th Anniversary)
We stayed around until close to mid-afternoon. It was still raining and the kids had plenty of fun indoors.
When we got back into Canberra, I ducked in to do some essential grocery shopping before arriving home in time to sort out dinner and get some urgent washing on.
The kids crashed out after a tiring journey and weekend (we did about 750km overall). I'm feeling quite stiff in my neck and across my shoulders.
My brother Mark SMS'd to mention the Google 'classic view' had Pac-Man that you could play. It's there because of it's 30th anniversary. With the original sound effects it was hard not to reminisce about those days, especially (as Mark mentioned) leaning over the glass table-topped machines. Enough blogging...back to Pac-Man.
When we got back into Canberra, I ducked in to do some essential grocery shopping before arriving home in time to sort out dinner and get some urgent washing on.
The kids crashed out after a tiring journey and weekend (we did about 750km overall). I'm feeling quite stiff in my neck and across my shoulders.
My brother Mark SMS'd to mention the Google 'classic view' had Pac-Man that you could play. It's there because of it's 30th anniversary. With the original sound effects it was hard not to reminisce about those days, especially (as Mark mentioned) leaning over the glass table-topped machines. Enough blogging...back to Pac-Man.
Sat 22-May-10 (Wedding)
In the morning the kids were running constantly around the house playing chasings before we headed up to Newtown and went to Max Brenner's. It was our first visit since Israel. It was okay, but the service was very slow (two people working with a large number of clientelle). We had planned to go to the bookshop "Better Read Than Dead" but time got the best of us.
The kids and I did the 70km trip to the Blue Mountains. We arrived about 10mins before the wedding started. It was such a lovely service. Not too long and all the things that were said and sung were said/sung. I took a few photos of the wedding but the quality isn't great as I still only have my phone to rely on. Don't the two girls look beautiful!?
There was butcher's paper over the walls so the kids got their one and only chance to graffiti legally! Great idea! It won't be too hard to guess who drew what.
We hung around until about 6pm, catching up with people, some I knew and others who approached me to share that although we had never met, they had prayed for Maria, myself and the kids. That was quite emotional for me (I didn't openly display it) and it was nice to be able to let them know how much that meant and as I have shared before, we felt the prayer coverage throughout the journey.
Jono and Janelle both seemed so happy. It appears from all the stories shared on the day that God really set them to be in this union. I was so happy for them, yet Maria's absence was the most noticeable it's been for me in the last four months.
We returned to Mark and Cass' for dinner and Gabi got to be the "big sister", reading to the boys. She was in her element.
I slept on a mattress on the floor, which had a far better outcome for me.
Fri 21-May-10 (Drive to Sydney, neck injury)
We didn't get away until about 5:30pm, but had a good trip to Sydney, As we entered Sydney the rain came down.
It was great to see Mark and Cass's new home. There was some discussion as to who would sleep where. I ended up joining Ben in the spare bedroom bed. Unfortunately in the early hours of the morning he turned horizontal (not unusual) but kicked me a few times at the back of my head (must have been having a footy dream). I discovered when I woke in the morning that it had aggravated a pre-existing neck injury I have.
It was great to see Mark and Cass's new home. There was some discussion as to who would sleep where. I ended up joining Ben in the spare bedroom bed. Unfortunately in the early hours of the morning he turned horizontal (not unusual) but kicked me a few times at the back of my head (must have been having a footy dream). I discovered when I woke in the morning that it had aggravated a pre-existing neck injury I have.
20 May 2010
Thu 20-May-10 (4 months today)
It's hard to believe that four months has passed since Maria went to be with the Lord. Many of you are probably saying the same thing. While it probably seems like time has flown for you, I feel like time has almost come to a grinding halt and it all took place a year ago.
I thought about it a few times during the day but was not too affected. That said, work is busy enough to distract me from anything.
We're doing okay. We have just packed in preparation for our drive to Sydney tomorrow afternoon. We will stay with my brother Mark and his family over the weekend and are looking forward to seeing their new home. The other reason for our trip is to attend Janelle's wedding in the Blue Mountains on Saturday afternoon. That too will be a wonderful experience.
In both cases there will be a sad side, i.e. not having Maria there to share it with.
I thought about it a few times during the day but was not too affected. That said, work is busy enough to distract me from anything.
We're doing okay. We have just packed in preparation for our drive to Sydney tomorrow afternoon. We will stay with my brother Mark and his family over the weekend and are looking forward to seeing their new home. The other reason for our trip is to attend Janelle's wedding in the Blue Mountains on Saturday afternoon. That too will be a wonderful experience.
In both cases there will be a sad side, i.e. not having Maria there to share it with.
17 May 2010
My current reading
Three nights ago I launched into "Bringing Up Girls" by Dr James Dobson. He is an excellent author. I'm reading a chapter a night so my aim is to finish the book in a month. It is a helpful distraction from sitting in front of a computer. I'm combining this with a couple of prayer books to focus on the kids, as well as the novels I'm reading to the kids.
I have been inundated with books/tapes/DVDs/CDs and plan to work through them. Hopefully I'll be literate by the end of this year.
Anyway, back to my reading...
I have been inundated with books/tapes/DVDs/CDs and plan to work through them. Hopefully I'll be literate by the end of this year.
Anyway, back to my reading...
Mon 17-May-10 (gastro/food poisoning)
I fell asleep just after midnight, to be woken about 15 minutes later feeling a little confused as Gabi was telling me how she had vomited. This continued for another half an hour before she fell asleep.
Gabi woke very tired but already seeming better. What I initially put down to gastro, started to make me think whether she had some bad food while we were out and about yesterday. A dear friend Cathy and I were in contact regarding her son's wrist injury from footy. The timing of our communication was perfect as she learnt about Gabi and kindly offered to pick-up and drop-off Ben. That load off my mind was a real blessing.
Throughout the day I couldn't keep up with Gabi's demand for food. I kept it pretty dry, but she didn't mind. She lay in front of the DVD player while I worked from my networked computer.
About 2:00pm after a 6hr stint I started to feel a little queasy and went for a lay-down. During this time I received a call from a former police colleague who had come across my name and upon researching the Internet to locate me, found the blog and called to pass on his condolences (thanks Jim). Between then and when I finally got up I heard Ben come home, Gabi came in every ten minutes to see what she could eat and I received an urgent work call.
Gabi was eating Dolmathes and Lasagne by the end of the day and went to bed looking and feeling great. Ben seems healthy and happy. I feel better earlier in the afternoon but plan to get to bed earlier tonight, just in case one of us has issues through the night.
Gabi woke very tired but already seeming better. What I initially put down to gastro, started to make me think whether she had some bad food while we were out and about yesterday. A dear friend Cathy and I were in contact regarding her son's wrist injury from footy. The timing of our communication was perfect as she learnt about Gabi and kindly offered to pick-up and drop-off Ben. That load off my mind was a real blessing.
Throughout the day I couldn't keep up with Gabi's demand for food. I kept it pretty dry, but she didn't mind. She lay in front of the DVD player while I worked from my networked computer.
About 2:00pm after a 6hr stint I started to feel a little queasy and went for a lay-down. During this time I received a call from a former police colleague who had come across my name and upon researching the Internet to locate me, found the blog and called to pass on his condolences (thanks Jim). Between then and when I finally got up I heard Ben come home, Gabi came in every ten minutes to see what she could eat and I received an urgent work call.
Gabi was eating Dolmathes and Lasagne by the end of the day and went to bed looking and feeling great. Ben seems healthy and happy. I feel better earlier in the afternoon but plan to get to bed earlier tonight, just in case one of us has issues through the night.
Sun 16-May-10 (Footy, Cooma)
Ben played his first interstate game. Well, in fact it was in Jerrabomberra, only about 15 minutes from home, but in New South Wales.
It was one goal each half way through the first quarter. Like previous weeks they seemed to lose their way. In the 3rd quarter they made it an even contest and ran away with it in the final quarter. Had they been adding the overall score, they probably would still have just lost. Ben had a quiet game, still a little hesitant to get into tackles, but his marking and kicking has improved.
We drove directly to Cooma for lunch with Maria's parent, Effie and family, and their friend Rosemary. We went to Effie & Brian's afterwards for coffee and cakes care of Rosemary and Mama.
We got home about 6:30pm, all feeling quite drained. Ben slept for the last 15mins of the trip, which meant he struggled to get to sleep when bedtime came.
It was one goal each half way through the first quarter. Like previous weeks they seemed to lose their way. In the 3rd quarter they made it an even contest and ran away with it in the final quarter. Had they been adding the overall score, they probably would still have just lost. Ben had a quiet game, still a little hesitant to get into tackles, but his marking and kicking has improved.
We drove directly to Cooma for lunch with Maria's parent, Effie and family, and their friend Rosemary. We went to Effie & Brian's afterwards for coffee and cakes care of Rosemary and Mama.
We got home about 6:30pm, all feeling quite drained. Ben slept for the last 15mins of the trip, which meant he struggled to get to sleep when bedtime came.
15 May 2010
Sat 15-May-10 (sport)
Ben's footy was put over until tomorrow because it is the day when two AFL teams come to town. Today it was the Sydney Swans -v- the Western Bulldogs. We were going to meet friends there but en route I received a call from Paul to say that the game was sold out. We were shocked and the kids highly disappointed. I was tempted to purchase tickets online last night, but decided against it.
We headed to Woden and I appeased them with ice cream. We saw some people wearing Canberra Raiders gear, so we knew there was going to be a match on. I checked my phone and discovered it was against the Melbourne Storm. The kids are fond of a few of their players so we decided to go.
We rugged up as it was a 7:30pm match. Although Gabi is always keen to go to these matches, she is thoroughly bored. We left the stadium around 9:30pm and it was a chilly 8 degrees (especially sitting there for 2+ hours). Sadly Melbourne won the encounter 17-6. I thought the refereeing was a bit ordinary and was disappointed with some of the decisions that went against Canberra, but Melbourne deserved to win.
The kids didn't get into bed until 10:15pm, so Ben might be playing in slow motion tomorrow morning. After his match we'll be heading to Cooma to have lunch with Maria's parents, Effie and family, followed by cake to celebrate Mama's birthday from last week.
We headed to Woden and I appeased them with ice cream. We saw some people wearing Canberra Raiders gear, so we knew there was going to be a match on. I checked my phone and discovered it was against the Melbourne Storm. The kids are fond of a few of their players so we decided to go.
We rugged up as it was a 7:30pm match. Although Gabi is always keen to go to these matches, she is thoroughly bored. We left the stadium around 9:30pm and it was a chilly 8 degrees (especially sitting there for 2+ hours). Sadly Melbourne won the encounter 17-6. I thought the refereeing was a bit ordinary and was disappointed with some of the decisions that went against Canberra, but Melbourne deserved to win.
The kids didn't get into bed until 10:15pm, so Ben might be playing in slow motion tomorrow morning. After his match we'll be heading to Cooma to have lunch with Maria's parents, Effie and family, followed by cake to celebrate Mama's birthday from last week.
Fri 14-May-10 (Pupil free day, coffee)
It was a pupil (i.e. student) free day. I took the day off work and managed after a bad night's sleep to get up around 10:30am. I took the kids to Manuka for "brunch" and afterwards we went down to the lake to kick the footy and feed the birds. It was another gorgeous day.
After the lake we did the drive around the Embassies and High Commissions before heading home.
During the evening I made myself a couple of coffees and actually had a bit of success with my normally quite poor attempts at latte art. Life sounds pretty boring when things like this excite!
After the lake we did the drive around the Embassies and High Commissions before heading home.
During the evening I made myself a couple of coffees and actually had a bit of success with my normally quite poor attempts at latte art. Life sounds pretty boring when things like this excite!
14 May 2010
Canberra in autumn
Autumn/Fall is such a beautiful time of the year in Canberra. For those of you not familiar with our city and the colours at this time of year, here is an example below. If you click on the photo (I think it enlarges?) you'll see our Parliament House to the left (where the large flag pole is) and my place of work, which is the orange/red roofed buildings to the right.
13 May 2010
Toby Mac
One of my favourite Christian music artists is Toby Mac. I like the diversity of styles in his music. I also like when he shares what's on his heart during his concerts. Below is an excerpt I had to type word-for-word as I couldn't find the text via Googling. I haven't listened to it for a long time but happened to come across it in the car on the way to work today. I felt compelled to share it tonight for someone out there. Maybe it's for someone you know. I pray it speaks to those who need to hear it.
"No matter what you're going through, no matter how deep your problem is, no matter how deep that cut is that hurt you, no matter how deep a hole you got your life into this very night – God made you and God made me so that He could love us, so that He could love us. You see, sometimes when life is coming at us we get a little cloudy and we forget that simple thought that God loves us. And sometimes, maybe we turn our back on God and walked away. And maybe it was a bunch of little things, or maybe it was one big leap into something really foolish. But nonetheless you look up and you find yourself way over here and in your mind you're as far away from God's love tonight as you've ever been. But these are the lies that start filling our head. Lies like, "I've done too much, I don't wanna trudge back through all that junk to get back to God. I'm just going to live over here. I'm too embarrassed." These are the lies that fill our minds. But let me tell you about the truth tonight, this is the truth. No matter how many times you've been over here, no matter how far over here you are, no matter what you're addicted to, tonight you don't have to trudge through all that junk to get back to God. If you just turn around God will meet you right where you are. That's the truth. That's the truth. You are one turn, one second from God's perfect love and as soon as you turn around and ask His forgiveness, His love will shower over you. His arms will wrap around you because you are God's child and God loves His children, God loves you!
And the reason we can do all that, the reason we can turn around is because there is a bridge between us and God and that's God's son and His name is Jesus Christ. He makes up the difference. God also created you and me so that we could adore Him, so that we could call Him "Abba" (Aramaic/Hebrew for "daddy"), so that we could worship Him together and raise our voices together..." Toby Mac (Bonus Track from Alive and Transported).
"No matter what you're going through, no matter how deep your problem is, no matter how deep that cut is that hurt you, no matter how deep a hole you got your life into this very night – God made you and God made me so that He could love us, so that He could love us. You see, sometimes when life is coming at us we get a little cloudy and we forget that simple thought that God loves us. And sometimes, maybe we turn our back on God and walked away. And maybe it was a bunch of little things, or maybe it was one big leap into something really foolish. But nonetheless you look up and you find yourself way over here and in your mind you're as far away from God's love tonight as you've ever been. But these are the lies that start filling our head. Lies like, "I've done too much, I don't wanna trudge back through all that junk to get back to God. I'm just going to live over here. I'm too embarrassed." These are the lies that fill our minds. But let me tell you about the truth tonight, this is the truth. No matter how many times you've been over here, no matter how far over here you are, no matter what you're addicted to, tonight you don't have to trudge through all that junk to get back to God. If you just turn around God will meet you right where you are. That's the truth. That's the truth. You are one turn, one second from God's perfect love and as soon as you turn around and ask His forgiveness, His love will shower over you. His arms will wrap around you because you are God's child and God loves His children, God loves you!
And the reason we can do all that, the reason we can turn around is because there is a bridge between us and God and that's God's son and His name is Jesus Christ. He makes up the difference. God also created you and me so that we could adore Him, so that we could call Him "Abba" (Aramaic/Hebrew for "daddy"), so that we could worship Him together and raise our voices together..." Toby Mac (Bonus Track from Alive and Transported).
Thu 13-May-10 (the rest of the day)
It was a nice day. I hosted a morning tea in memory of our wedding anniversary. I kept some cake aside for the kids. Work was busy enough to keep me distracted.
In the afternoon Ben went off to footy training and Gabi stayed with Mel. I collected Ben after training and we had dinner with Paul/Mel and family.
We arrived home a little later than planned. As tomorrow is a pupil-free day, I was able to read to them both before bed. They both seem to enjoy the one-on-one time together and their respective books.
Thanks to those for the email and SMS wishes for today.
In the afternoon Ben went off to footy training and Gabi stayed with Mel. I collected Ben after training and we had dinner with Paul/Mel and family.
We arrived home a little later than planned. As tomorrow is a pupil-free day, I was able to read to them both before bed. They both seem to enjoy the one-on-one time together and their respective books.
Thanks to those for the email and SMS wishes for today.
Thu 13-May-10 (Wedding Anniversary...an interesting start to the day)
It's just after 5:45am and I have to say it has been an interesting start to the day. I should be asleep until 7:00am but a range of events have prevented this.
I woke just after 5:30am as I had a dream with Maria in it for the first time. As I was laying there praising God my phone beeped with an incoming SMS. My mate Mike (see yesterday's entry) was sending me a progress report from his hospital bed. He was doing well with the morphine doing its job (perhaps affected his ability to tell the time - a joke). I intend to visit him en route to work and found out he is in the maternity ward. I warned him about what too much beer and chocolate can do (another joke - he is much fitter than me). I praise God for an answer to prayer (for the successful surgery, that is).
As I lay there thanking God for Mike, I felt that rather than go immediately back to sleep (even though I feel like I need it), I should check my email for my bible study for the day (it comes it @ 4:42 each morning). Interestingly it wasn't there, but two other messages were since I went to sleep around 1:30am...
The first was from dear friends Alan & Jo from the UK (we were together in Israel). Jo had their first child, "Harry" (he looks very royal and handsome too) on the 8th. Congratulations.
The second message was from other dear friends from Israel, who are back in the US (Brian and Martha). Brian's sister Ruth recently had brain surgery for a lesion, which has now been diagnosed as Gloiblastoma Multiforme (GBM) - the same cancer Maria had. The good side of this news is that she is recovering well from the surgery. Like with Maria, the steroids are a real annoyance with sleep loss and all the other side effects it brings with it. Fortunately they are tapering them down. Praise God for the medical treatment and as she moves into the next phase of treatment (radio/chemo) we pray that God's Will and his light will continue to shine through that family.
I'm now projecting back 24 hours to another incident, which didn't seem like anything at the time, but as yesterday progressed it became clear that God was prompting me and I missed the sign. The background to this is that one of our dearest friend's (Janelle) friend, Kirsti, came to Maria's funeral from the Blue Mountains as she knew Maria through a women's conference they attended together some years ago. I hadn't met Kirsti before that day. Since January I hadn't thought about Kirsti (not to be offensive). Anyway, when I woke yesterday morning I had this vivid image of Kirsti but was confused as to whether he name was Kirsti or Kristi. After my brain got into gear and I clarified that, I continued on without giving it a second thought. While at work (I tend to be too busy to check private emails on my phone), I saw a message from Janelle and upon reading it discovered that Janelle was seeking prayer as Kirsti's young niece was having surgery for a brain lesion. That freaked me out!
Further to the previous paragraph, I've had a few visions/dreams lately which have been for others and I've carefully shared (as I'm conscious they could be coming from anywhere). The feedback I've received has been so positively interesting. I find events like these and what I mentioned about Kirsti, for me, confirm the presence of God as opposed explaining them off as "coincidences" or "natural phenomena".
On a day that will be one of the hardest "firsts" without Maria, I feel encouraged. Maybe my flatness (is there such a word) is lifting for now?
Thanks to everyone for their ongoing commitment and prayer for us (especially of late).
I wonder how my colleagues will find the idea of me supplying morning tea today to celebrate what would have been a wonderful 15th wedding anniversary. I miss you Maria, and I know you know that!
I woke just after 5:30am as I had a dream with Maria in it for the first time. As I was laying there praising God my phone beeped with an incoming SMS. My mate Mike (see yesterday's entry) was sending me a progress report from his hospital bed. He was doing well with the morphine doing its job (perhaps affected his ability to tell the time - a joke). I intend to visit him en route to work and found out he is in the maternity ward. I warned him about what too much beer and chocolate can do (another joke - he is much fitter than me). I praise God for an answer to prayer (for the successful surgery, that is).
As I lay there thanking God for Mike, I felt that rather than go immediately back to sleep (even though I feel like I need it), I should check my email for my bible study for the day (it comes it @ 4:42 each morning). Interestingly it wasn't there, but two other messages were since I went to sleep around 1:30am...
The first was from dear friends Alan & Jo from the UK (we were together in Israel). Jo had their first child, "Harry" (he looks very royal and handsome too) on the 8th. Congratulations.
The second message was from other dear friends from Israel, who are back in the US (Brian and Martha). Brian's sister Ruth recently had brain surgery for a lesion, which has now been diagnosed as Gloiblastoma Multiforme (GBM) - the same cancer Maria had. The good side of this news is that she is recovering well from the surgery. Like with Maria, the steroids are a real annoyance with sleep loss and all the other side effects it brings with it. Fortunately they are tapering them down. Praise God for the medical treatment and as she moves into the next phase of treatment (radio/chemo) we pray that God's Will and his light will continue to shine through that family.
I'm now projecting back 24 hours to another incident, which didn't seem like anything at the time, but as yesterday progressed it became clear that God was prompting me and I missed the sign. The background to this is that one of our dearest friend's (Janelle) friend, Kirsti, came to Maria's funeral from the Blue Mountains as she knew Maria through a women's conference they attended together some years ago. I hadn't met Kirsti before that day. Since January I hadn't thought about Kirsti (not to be offensive). Anyway, when I woke yesterday morning I had this vivid image of Kirsti but was confused as to whether he name was Kirsti or Kristi. After my brain got into gear and I clarified that, I continued on without giving it a second thought. While at work (I tend to be too busy to check private emails on my phone), I saw a message from Janelle and upon reading it discovered that Janelle was seeking prayer as Kirsti's young niece was having surgery for a brain lesion. That freaked me out!
Further to the previous paragraph, I've had a few visions/dreams lately which have been for others and I've carefully shared (as I'm conscious they could be coming from anywhere). The feedback I've received has been so positively interesting. I find events like these and what I mentioned about Kirsti, for me, confirm the presence of God as opposed explaining them off as "coincidences" or "natural phenomena".
On a day that will be one of the hardest "firsts" without Maria, I feel encouraged. Maybe my flatness (is there such a word) is lifting for now?
Thanks to everyone for their ongoing commitment and prayer for us (especially of late).
I wonder how my colleagues will find the idea of me supplying morning tea today to celebrate what would have been a wonderful 15th wedding anniversary. I miss you Maria, and I know you know that!
12 May 2010
Wed 12-May-10 (Prayer request - Mike)
A dear mate Mike is having surgery to his ear at 1:30pm (local time) today. Grateful for prayer over the surgeon and staff as well Mike and his family experiencing God's peace, which surpasses all understanding.
11 May 2010
Tue 11-May-10 (Birthday, exhaustion)
Today is Mama's (Maria's mum's) birthday. Happy birthday. As we said on the phone, we love you.
It is not even 10pm and I'm in bed about to sleep. I'm even having trouble typing this entry on my trusty laptop that sleeps with me. Pretty pathetic, don't you think?
I hit the point of exhaustion around 3pm at work and was actually held back with something urgent to deal with until 5:30pm. By the time I collected the kids, got home, showers, had dinner and got them to bed (and read to them) it was way past their bed time. The blessing is that I did a full day's work in the office so I don't need to do any tonight.
I look at the mess around the house and the things I need to do in preparation for tomorrow and I just can't muster the strength. I'm overwhelmed, but tomorrow is a new day.
Today was hard enough (especially for Maria's mum) being another first. Thursday is going to be a real challenge for me as it would have been our 15th wedding anniversary and over 21 years since we started dating.
It is not even 10pm and I'm in bed about to sleep. I'm even having trouble typing this entry on my trusty laptop that sleeps with me. Pretty pathetic, don't you think?
I hit the point of exhaustion around 3pm at work and was actually held back with something urgent to deal with until 5:30pm. By the time I collected the kids, got home, showers, had dinner and got them to bed (and read to them) it was way past their bed time. The blessing is that I did a full day's work in the office so I don't need to do any tonight.
I look at the mess around the house and the things I need to do in preparation for tomorrow and I just can't muster the strength. I'm overwhelmed, but tomorrow is a new day.
Today was hard enough (especially for Maria's mum) being another first. Thursday is going to be a real challenge for me as it would have been our 15th wedding anniversary and over 21 years since we started dating.
09 May 2010
Sun 9-May-10 (first Mother's Day without Maria)
Happy Mother's Day to all the mums out there!
We ended up spending the night at Paul and Mel's. We all headed to church after a yummy breakfast cooked by Paul. I found it very difficult to focus on the sermon, not because of its content, but rather the distraction of the day.
After church we got KFC to have at the Cemetery. There were dozens of cockatoos feeding off all the flowers left by loved ones at different grave sites. These birds are very cheeky. I forgot to take photos. One the subject of photos I still haven't done anything about our broken camera, so my phone continues to be the source of our images.
We were happy to find the granite stone and plaque in place. I now need to organise the porcelain / ceramic photo that will be included. The three of us spoke about how we were feeling on this first Mother's Day without Maria. We all agreed to feel sad and empty (i.e. a big part of of our lives is missing).
I received a phone call from Pastor Gary (in Cooma) who held Maria's services. He felt blessed that someone in the prayer group before church (who didn't really know us nor was at the funeral) had us on their hearts and committed us in prayer. It was lovely to have a chat with him.
I made calls to Mama (Maria's mum) and my Mum. The former being quite emotional. My first without my wife and her first without one of her children.
The remainder of the afternoon was spent quietly at home playing and watching some TV.
I'm drained (emotionally and physically) to the point that I feel like I'm coming down with the flu (not the case). Each day is a steep climb. It is a mixed blessing because on one hand as you get to the end of a day (the "peak") you look out and feel proud of that achievement, however standing on that peak allows you to see what climb lays ahead for the following day.
It's now just after 9:30pm and I'm well and truly ready for bed. I had planned to be in bed by now but the soaking of whites put me behind schedule. I'm now waiting for this final load of washing, which I need to get out and dried by the morning because there are pieces of uniform for the kids. I should be in bed in the next half-hour, which is impressive by my standards.
08 May 2010
Brokenness
This has been my bible study over the past couple of days (word4u2day). It's on "brokenness". I wanted to share it with you as an encouragement. I hyperlinked the additional readings if anyone's interested in getting into it or just having a look.
Brokenness (1)
'The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit...' Psalm 51:17 NIV
For a plant to rise from the soil the seed must be broken. For a baby chick to experience larger life, the shell must be broken. Even a thoroughbred horse must be broken; it must learn to respond to the tug of the reins and the sound of the trainer's voice. Get the idea? The world around us might not see value in broken things but so often with God brokenness is just one step away from beauty.
When we hear the word 'brokenness' we normally think it means 'no good anymore' or 'useless' but that's not it at all. And neither is it a reference to experiencing some sort of personal tragedy. Many people suffer tragedy without drawing closer to God or even acknowledging Him. No, spiritual brokenness is the process through which God strips away our self-centredness so that the character of Jesus can shine through us. At the end of the day the issue with brokenness is not so much our circumstances, but our response. When God blocks every exit we try to take and then eventually we come to see that He alone is our answer, we make a life changing discovery. 'And what's that?' you ask. Simple: when God is all you have; God is all you need! Bottom line: God's power is released through those who have given up trying to do it in their own strength!
SoulFood: Num 27-29, Mark 7:14-23, Ps 44:1-8, Pr 11:9
Brokenness (2)
'The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit...' Psalm 51:17 NIV
Sometimes God lets us hit the bottom in order to find out that He's the rock at the base of everything. Gideon was ready to face an army of 135 000 troops with just 32 000 men, then 22 000 of them left him before the battlefield was even in sight. Do the maths. Gideon's thinking, 'We're mincemeat!' Then God turns up the pressure another notch, saying: 'The people who are with you are too many for Me to give Midian into their hands, for Israel would become boastful, saying, "...My own power has delivered me."'(Judges 7:2 NAS) He ends up winning the battle with just 300 men! Do you see what's going on there-the first battle to be fought was a battle of ego! Why do you think the Lord's Prayer ends with: '...Yours is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory...'? (Matthew 6:13 NAS) To remind us that any power we have comes only from God! And who should the glory for our success go to? Straight to God! How long does this arrangement last? Forever!
Brokenness doesn't mean being a wimp, suffering from an inferiority complex or having a case of low self-esteem. No, it's just that sometimes God has to take you down before He can raise you up. People who have been through God's breaking process don't find it hard to pray, 'Jesus, whatever will make You famous-I'm up for it!' Can you pray that prayer today?
SoulFood: Num 30:1-32:24, Mark 7:24-37, Ps 44: 9-16, Pr 11:10-11
Brokenness (1)
'The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit...' Psalm 51:17 NIV
For a plant to rise from the soil the seed must be broken. For a baby chick to experience larger life, the shell must be broken. Even a thoroughbred horse must be broken; it must learn to respond to the tug of the reins and the sound of the trainer's voice. Get the idea? The world around us might not see value in broken things but so often with God brokenness is just one step away from beauty.
When we hear the word 'brokenness' we normally think it means 'no good anymore' or 'useless' but that's not it at all. And neither is it a reference to experiencing some sort of personal tragedy. Many people suffer tragedy without drawing closer to God or even acknowledging Him. No, spiritual brokenness is the process through which God strips away our self-centredness so that the character of Jesus can shine through us. At the end of the day the issue with brokenness is not so much our circumstances, but our response. When God blocks every exit we try to take and then eventually we come to see that He alone is our answer, we make a life changing discovery. 'And what's that?' you ask. Simple: when God is all you have; God is all you need! Bottom line: God's power is released through those who have given up trying to do it in their own strength!
SoulFood: Num 27-29, Mark 7:14-23, Ps 44:1-8, Pr 11:9
Brokenness (2)
'The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit...' Psalm 51:17 NIV
Sometimes God lets us hit the bottom in order to find out that He's the rock at the base of everything. Gideon was ready to face an army of 135 000 troops with just 32 000 men, then 22 000 of them left him before the battlefield was even in sight. Do the maths. Gideon's thinking, 'We're mincemeat!' Then God turns up the pressure another notch, saying: 'The people who are with you are too many for Me to give Midian into their hands, for Israel would become boastful, saying, "...My own power has delivered me."'(Judges 7:2 NAS) He ends up winning the battle with just 300 men! Do you see what's going on there-the first battle to be fought was a battle of ego! Why do you think the Lord's Prayer ends with: '...Yours is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory...'? (Matthew 6:13 NAS) To remind us that any power we have comes only from God! And who should the glory for our success go to? Straight to God! How long does this arrangement last? Forever!
Brokenness doesn't mean being a wimp, suffering from an inferiority complex or having a case of low self-esteem. No, it's just that sometimes God has to take you down before He can raise you up. People who have been through God's breaking process don't find it hard to pray, 'Jesus, whatever will make You famous-I'm up for it!' Can you pray that prayer today?
SoulFood: Num 30:1-32:24, Mark 7:24-37, Ps 44: 9-16, Pr 11:10-11
Sat 8-May-10 (kids, footy, dinner)
The kids pulled up better this morning. Gabi decided to come into my bedroom very early so I could start reading the first book in her new set ("Camp Club Girls"), which I recently bought.
Gabi asked me this morning about the possibility of adopting a sister her age, a little younger or even a little older. I explained the bureaucratic difficulties associated with this, being a single parent. What I didn't explain was the difficulties I have at present only managing two kids.
Ben's footy: He not only played the full game but was given a certificate for the Most Improved Player. He marked and kicked well and just started to get into tackles towards the end of the match. Pretty good effort considering how sick he appeared last night.
I brought a couple of our dear friends' boys home with us. I had almost forgotten what it was like to occupy a two year-old, let alone nappy changing! Now that brought back some memories! Gabi was really good with James, taking on the "older sister / mother" role and able to win respect (as opposed to when she tries it with Ben). Paul generously took Ben and Gabi home with him so I am able to attend Justin's 40th dinner. A bigger effort than mine considering he'll have six kids to care for as Mel is out of town.
I'll get to Paul and Mel's later tonight and haven't decided yet as to whether to take up Paul's offer of sleeping at their place and go together to church in the morning, or transferring the kids to my car and coming home. I'm very conscious of their family's need to celebrate Mother's Day in the morning.
Gabi asked me this morning about the possibility of adopting a sister her age, a little younger or even a little older. I explained the bureaucratic difficulties associated with this, being a single parent. What I didn't explain was the difficulties I have at present only managing two kids.
Ben's footy: He not only played the full game but was given a certificate for the Most Improved Player. He marked and kicked well and just started to get into tackles towards the end of the match. Pretty good effort considering how sick he appeared last night.
I brought a couple of our dear friends' boys home with us. I had almost forgotten what it was like to occupy a two year-old, let alone nappy changing! Now that brought back some memories! Gabi was really good with James, taking on the "older sister / mother" role and able to win respect (as opposed to when she tries it with Ben). Paul generously took Ben and Gabi home with him so I am able to attend Justin's 40th dinner. A bigger effort than mine considering he'll have six kids to care for as Mel is out of town.
I'll get to Paul and Mel's later tonight and haven't decided yet as to whether to take up Paul's offer of sleeping at their place and go together to church in the morning, or transferring the kids to my car and coming home. I'm very conscious of their family's need to celebrate Mother's Day in the morning.
07 May 2010
Fri 7-May-10 (sick kids, the weekend ahead)
Gabi started to feel unwell at school yesterday afternoon. She struggled to get out of bed this morning, complaining of body aches, a headache and sore throat. Her throat, while red, had no signs of infection (yet). Ben was quite sluggish this morning and didn't seem himself.
I gave them paracetamol and allowed them to lie around and read while I tried to get some work done. They picked up after the pain relief kicked in.
We all had a lengthy nap late in the afternoon and woke in time for dinner and to watch Second Hand Lions. We were spoilt to have some scrumptious brownies dropped off (thanks Robyn). Speaking of food, we have been spoilt by many people with delicious meals. There are too many people to name. You know who you are.
As we approached bed time both complained of throat issues and rejected their ice cream (that is a sign of real illness). Ben started to experience rigors and didn't look well. He is of the opinion that he'll be right for football tomorrow. We'll see. Gabi is a little better than she was this morning, but not great.
I have a dear mate's 40th birthday dinner to attend tomorrow night, but it's not looking a guaranteed prospect. However, a lot can change over 24 hours. If they are better in the morning I will be making 11th-hour approaches for a babysitter as I've had no such luck securing someone.
Sunday is Mother's Day here in Australia. The kids made very special cards for Maria in which they wrote lovely messages to her. Sunday will be a hard day, but we are all prepared as much as one can be.
I gave them paracetamol and allowed them to lie around and read while I tried to get some work done. They picked up after the pain relief kicked in.
We all had a lengthy nap late in the afternoon and woke in time for dinner and to watch Second Hand Lions. We were spoilt to have some scrumptious brownies dropped off (thanks Robyn). Speaking of food, we have been spoilt by many people with delicious meals. There are too many people to name. You know who you are.
As we approached bed time both complained of throat issues and rejected their ice cream (that is a sign of real illness). Ben started to experience rigors and didn't look well. He is of the opinion that he'll be right for football tomorrow. We'll see. Gabi is a little better than she was this morning, but not great.
I have a dear mate's 40th birthday dinner to attend tomorrow night, but it's not looking a guaranteed prospect. However, a lot can change over 24 hours. If they are better in the morning I will be making 11th-hour approaches for a babysitter as I've had no such luck securing someone.
Sunday is Mother's Day here in Australia. The kids made very special cards for Maria in which they wrote lovely messages to her. Sunday will be a hard day, but we are all prepared as much as one can be.
04 May 2010
Mon 3-May-10 (Birthdays)
Happy birthday Mum. We love you.
It is also a dear friend's birthday. Happy birthday Claudine.
It is also a dear friend's birthday. Happy birthday Claudine.
03 May 2010
Technology's great...when it works
I was just about to hit the save button to finish off more than three hours work on a complex schematic and I lost it all!!! Absolutely irretrievable. I was in a bad mood late this afternoon and into the evening, so this has not helped my cause. To make matters worse my right hand (fortunately not my good one) is reeling from the after effects of its high velocity reflex collision with the stone (quartz) desktop.
I am quite certain I won't be in a communicative mood tomorrow.
I am quite certain I won't be in a communicative mood tomorrow.
02 May 2010
Sat 1-May-10 (Football, Hospice, Dinner)
Ben was up early, wandering around the house in his gear. I knew before even getting out of bed as I listened to the thump of the studs from his boots on our floorboards. Considering it was his first match (another first without Maria to share in it) he did okay. I was proud of him (would have been regardless how he went). Hopefully Ben has learnt from this first experience and will further improve throughout the season. Fortunately there was no official scoring or premiership points because the game was well and truly over by the end of the first quarter. To their credit, our kids improved with each quarter.
We had a celebratory lunch, then got home in time for quick showers before heading to the Hospice for the Reflective Service. All was okay until we walked into the Hospice and I started to feel the memories pouring back. This was further exacerbated while sitting in the Chapel and seeing families in the area where we used to wait around or congregate when having a break from Maria's room. I could feel their pain. Ben and Gabi were both quite emotional. It was lovely to share it with Elaine and her daughters (as mentioned Alan passed away 17 days before Maria) and neighbours. It was also really nice to see Mary (head of Pastoral Care) who led the service. We first met her when Maria started home-based palliative care.
In the evening a bunch of neighbours had a lovely Chinese dinner at Elaine's home across the road. I put together a DVD of Alan and Maria for everyone to watch, while the kids went over to another neighbours to watch their own DVD–giving me the opportunity to catch up with others.
A highly emotional day.
We had a celebratory lunch, then got home in time for quick showers before heading to the Hospice for the Reflective Service. All was okay until we walked into the Hospice and I started to feel the memories pouring back. This was further exacerbated while sitting in the Chapel and seeing families in the area where we used to wait around or congregate when having a break from Maria's room. I could feel their pain. Ben and Gabi were both quite emotional. It was lovely to share it with Elaine and her daughters (as mentioned Alan passed away 17 days before Maria) and neighbours. It was also really nice to see Mary (head of Pastoral Care) who led the service. We first met her when Maria started home-based palliative care.
In the evening a bunch of neighbours had a lovely Chinese dinner at Elaine's home across the road. I put together a DVD of Alan and Maria for everyone to watch, while the kids went over to another neighbours to watch their own DVD–giving me the opportunity to catch up with others.
A highly emotional day.