Wed 1-Apr-09 (School excursion)

It was Ben and Gabi’s final school field trip (excursion), which was to an Orange Grove (30-40 minutes north of us) that is filled with lots of fun activities. I drove (in the event I had to get back to Maria in a hurry), following the coach Ben and Gabi were on. A lot of their friends went in vehicles or didn’t come, so I was proud of Ben when he decided to sit with Gabi to keep her company.

The three of us had lots of fun, while Maria hung out with Kathy. I have a few photos to share, including one of my soaked jeans (hard to see) when I doubled up on a kayak with Ben and later with Gabi.
On the way back, Gabi was happy to stay with her teachers, while Ben travelled with me.

When we got back to the school, the kids had the choice to stay or go. Gabi chose to stay and ended up being the only one in her class. She pretended to be a teacher and prepared work on the blackboard (that is 'so' Gabi). Ben chose to be with me. After changing my jeans, we went to the local 'square' and bought a mammoth pizza. Ben ate half of it. I ate a little and put the rest aside for Gabi.

In the evening Maria had a radiotherapy session, as we finished week one of her six week concomitant radio/chemo. I was well over driving by the end of that day.

Back online after more than a week

Over the last week or so I have found each day just so busy (although slow) with little time to sit down and prepare blog entries. The interesting thing now is trying to recall all the events of the last week. View the next entry for more information.

Mon 30-Mar-09 (meeting with nurse)

Maria continues not to sleep and is becoming more exhausted. I had a quiet morning tidying up the house.

We confirmed with Isaac mid-morning that we were able to meet with one of the oncology nurses @ 1:30pm. After the meeting the aim was to squeeze Maria for her radiotherapy so we didn’t have to return later in the evening.

While in the waiting area, our radio-oncologist walked past and asked Maria about her sleep and head pain. After a short chat she wandered off. It appears this generated conversation between her, the neurosurgeon and neuro-oncologist as we understand there may be some further medication alteration to address the issue.

While sitting there, Maria and I were pondering how many people are treated with radiotherapy on a daily basis at this hospital alone. There are six rooms here in the Cancer Centre (that we are aware of). Given the average turnaround is 10-15mins, you are looking at 24-36 patients per hour. That is a lot of cancer patients treated when you appreciate the amount of hours they operate each day!

We eventually got in to see the nurse (Mira), who was very nice. After speaking with us for some time, Mira spoke with staff to fit us in between other clients. Fortunately there is a room where Maria was able to lay down as the wait was much longer than expected.

After the treatment we went to our usual hangout, Aroma Café, as we hadn’t eaten since breakfast. For you Aussies out there, I’m sure you’d be interested to learn that two sandwiches, a coffee and a hot chocolate costs about AUD 30.00! I do all of my ordering and conversation in my very average Hebrew. I am well known now (frequent flyer), especially by one of the ladies because ‘Troy’ is a very unusual name in Israel. Even though we weren’t in the café long and had light traffic, we didn’t get home until after 6:00pm. The kids are coping okay with the multiple playdates, but are understandably a bit ratty from time-to-time.

As Pesach (Passover) is approaching, Maria will receive a radiotherapy treatment on Friday in lieu of a day next week.

Maria will have her first regular blood test on Thursday to check what effect the chemotherapy is having on her. We have Emla (Lidocaine and Prilocaine) cream to prepare her, given the bad experience on her last visit to the hospital. I’d be grateful if you could please pray that Maria is enveloped with a sense of peace and that whoever takes the blood is gentle on her.

Sun 29-Mar-09 (“treatment” family outing, minimising visits/contact)

The day for us started mid-morning with Maria having a physio session at home, followed by Maria and Gabi going out on a short 'girls' outing with dear friends. Ben and I took our boys time finding Star Wars Lego for sale on eBay (at Ben’s request) that he could afford to buy with the remainder of his saved money. He is now anxious for it to arrive from Australia—he couldn’t possibly wait for us to return in a few weeks to buy it! After “e-shopping” we then hit the tennis ball on our street for a little while.

Later this afternoon the four of us went to the hospital for Maria’s treatment. The kids were able to go in and actually see the room (I haven’t even got that far) before Maria started. The three of us were able to sit in the booth with the radiologist and watch Maria on computer screens while she received her treatment. It was great for them to see how quick and painless the process is.

After the treatment we celebrated with dinner at McDonalds on the hospital grounds. I got “kids meals” for Ben & Gabi as the gifts were small stuffed dogs, which I thought would be a good reminder of this visit. As it is ‘kosher’, it was a bonus for me because you don’t get cheese on any burgers (for those of you who don’t know, I don’t eat cheese).

Unfortunately the sofa bed I’ve been sleeping on for a couple of weeks, is now causing my back some grief. As a result, I have decided to move to the basement bedroom until Maria’s mum arrives at the end of the week. This coincided with a deal Gabi and I made to have a slumber party this evening.
Upon arriving home (after their normal bedtime) we quickly got ready for bed. Gabi and I spent a while reading the Bible, followed by me telling her a lengthy tale about a royal family (i.e. us). I think I fell asleep before she did. Anyway, I woke about an hour later and thought I’d come up to write a blog entry.

I came up to find Maria sitting in front of the TV, feeling a little unwell (virus and general side effects) and some anxiety. From all the rubbish as least she was able to find an episode of Inspector Morse. Let’s see what happens in terms of her sleep over the coming hours…

This probably will primarily affect those locally, but we will be cutting down on visits (not that we've been having that many) as Maria is becoming less inclined to receive people, especially with this virus and her immunity system continuing to be further depressed as her treatment progresses.

With the workload involved in caring for Maria and the kids, I am not taking as many calls as usual. I find it easier to check and respond to SMSs or voicemails when in a position to, or to emails usually at the end of the day. Please don't take any offense to my slowness in responding to all types of correspondence.

Fri 27-Mar-09 (another bad night, virus, David's visit)

Maria barely slept, yet again. She struggled throughout the day, particularly with a cough, which had further developed overnight and was now combined with an irritated throat.

We arranged a home visit by our doctor and friend, Harvey. Maria was diagnosed with a virus, which is a far better outcome that an infection.

Ben and Gabi had a long play date with school friends (thank Michal), which freed us up to have Maria assessed and to give her some rest time. It also gave us time to spend with our dear friend David—some of you would recall his wife Cindy and daughter Isobella were involved in serious vehicle accident here just over a year ago. It was great to see him and get a current update on how things were progressing back in the US. Although our circumstances are different, we were able to share stories regarding management of our respective obstacles.

Maria and I had a very long walk later in the afternoon, which wore her out. I went to a local cafe to get her a well deserved 'reward' for her efforts.

The kids crashed out pretty quickly from their big day. I gave Maria a lengthy massage to alleviate her shoulder and back pain. Unfortunately I'm pretty useless when it comes to being an effective Masseuse. If she does get a good sleep, it won't be related to my efforts!


Another evening finished with me crying out to God for sleep and relief for Maria.

Shabbat Shalom!

Thu 26-Mar-09 (therapy feedback, sleep - more/less)

Maria finished her second treatment this evening. Both yesterday and today's sessions were so quick (yesterday's was the longest because it was the first time), it almost seemed like she didn't have time to get into the room and be treated. Maria has found it an interesting, yet noisy experience.

Maria had five straight hours of sleep after last night's 'first' therapy. As it was only day 1, it's difficult to attribute the sleep to the treatment this early. We'll see how tonight goes. As we move into 'daylight saving time' at 2:00am, unfortunately we lose an hour's sleep this evening. This is something Maria can do without.

We had a physio (Diana) do a home visit today. She was really nice, professional, caring and holistic in her approach to discussing treatment for Maria while throwing in some tips for my own issue (neck disc) as I can't afford to be ill or disabled in any way. She was able to work on Maria's neck and loosen her up a little, for which was grateful.

Maria does not receive radiotherapy on Fridays & Saturdays, but will continue to take the chemotherapy drug at home. On Sunday night we are going to take the kids with us so they can be part of the experience. I'm sure they won't be bored on this excursion as there is a McDonalds in the mall on the hospital grounds (we'll have a special dinner treat), a kids play area with computers in the Cancer Centre, and as mentioned the treatment is over in what feels like an instant.

We're all pretty exhausted, but am happy to be into this phase of treatment.

Sensitivity

I think that over the past 19 months here in Israel we have become far more assertive both as individuals and as a family. Our time here has prepared us in many ways, including what I am about to write.

As many of you know, Maria and I gave our lives to Jesus (i.e. became Christians) in 2001. This is not the time for me to launch into our journeys. Rather, it is to paint a picture that while we may not have many years of Christian life experience (maturity), we have learned so much along the way by being surrounded and blessed by solid and mature believers.

Now I’ve given all the background required above, I’ll share what Maria and I have been observing and feeling of late.

Firstly, we are at a different stage now with the radiotherapy and chemotherapy having just started, and need to conserve our energy. Part of this involves me filtering all emails before Maria reads them. The reason being that lately we have felt discomfort in some of the messages we’ve received. Perhaps we are becoming sensitive in recent days/weeks, or maybe we are moving into a different phase of our situation or grief process.

I should say we have been so appreciative to receive messages from those letting us know we are in their prayers or thoughts. That has been encouraging as we did feel carried by the prayer, especially at the beginning when the medical process was moving so rapidly over here. However, there have been a few challenges presented to us, which have been too overwhelming. We understand that everyone has admirable intentions, but we are so early in the treatment process and still have so much to digest, so there are a few things we could do without for now.

We have humbly accepted your emails expressing your grief for us and appreciate your love and concern. Please do not continue sending emails expressing your emotions effusively because it is placing additional pressure and burdens on us now. We would prayerfully encourage you to seek your own counsel and support where you are.

I mention another important point. To those from who we have received something that made us feel uneasy for whatever reason, I have responded in a (hopefully) loving way as I believe it is our responsibility to raise it with the individuals. The purpose of this blog entry is not to point out individuals, but rather to put everything out there generically in an effort to minimise receiving any further such messages.

I have given headings (see below) to the challenges I am referring to.

Advice
I understand everyone has their own grief to manage because of Maria’s situation and that we have our individual coping mechanisms. Should you have any specialists to recommend, alternative healing methods, or “happy stories” to impart about people with brain tumours, please let me share where we stand on these points.

Firstly, we were blessed to have one of the best neurosurgeons in Israel (who also did a fellowship in one of the most famous and respected cancer hospitals in the US) operate on Maria and do such an awesome job.

Secondly, Maria has just started her six weeks of radio/chemotherapy, which follows international protocol. At this time there is no other path to follow.

While we have interestingly received a number of stories lately about people surviving brain tumours or other cancer—and that is so encouraging to you—for us everything has to be taken into context. For example, there are different types and grades of brain tumours and some people respond differently to treatments than others. See ‘Expectations’ for some more insight into our view on God’s power and plan.

When the time is right for us, we’ll seek out the advice we need.

Verses, ‘words’, rituals
There is a fine line between offering comfort in knowing you’re out there praying for us, as opposed to offering verses or ‘words’ that may suggest it is God speaking to you, which you may feel needs to be passed on to us. It is important for us to discern what is and is not helpful. At this early stage, we have discerned not to receive any further verses for now. If the Lord is leading you to verses, I hope and pray this is helpful for you in receiving your own comfort. In terms of prayer, we believe the Lord will lead you to pray for what is on your heart. Our comfort is in the fact that people are praying for us.

We have been offered verses concerning biblical rituals we should undertake, such as being anointed with oil and having hands laid on Maria for prayer (James 5). We don’t refute anything from God’s word. Offering a personal view, I believe that my and Maria’s individual relationships with Jesus are so strong that if we don’t follow such a ritual, we will not be any less blessed.

Expectations
Again, we have dear brothers and sisters in Christ continuing to uphold Maria in prayer for her full healing (as do I every day). We have been a little concerned when receiving messages that “God will bring about Maria’s full healing”. If this ends up not being the case, this does not make God any less faithful or powerful.

We know God’s awesome power and don’t doubt Him for a second. For us, it is more important to understand that He is in control of this situation and He has a big and perfect “strategic” plan that we can’t even fathom. If that leads to full healing, then we will humbly accept that ‘bonus’. Our God is faithful and He loves us more than we can comprehend. We need to let go and step aside so He can work. He knows where we are at and where we will be. Regardless of the outcome, we will follow His instruction that we need to use all situations to share our faith in the hope that this will plant seeds and further His kingdom.

Retuning to Australia
Some time after this six weeks of treatment, we will be returning to Australia without the possibility of returning to Israel in our current capacity. Sadly, we may never get to return. On this point, we have started with the assistance from family and some friends to get all things in order to ensure a smooth transition upon our arrival home. We know many of you want to help. We cannot gauge how things will be upon our return, but be assured if there is something we need we will call upon the best placed people to assist.

In closing
Every situation we approach is with the Lord first and foremost in our mind. We are blessed that we hear His voice directly in our prayer time and through scripture. We continue to lean on Him and He draws us to the passages we need.

Our Lord teaches us not to condemn (i.e. “the speck and plank” – read Matthew 7:1-5 if you want to know more), so I certainly hope the above has not come out as condemnation. We continue to love and respect everyone.

We thank those who continue to hold us up in prayer to our mighty and awesome God! We enjoy hearing from you, so please do not stop the emails coming, but just keep in mind the ‘triggers’ for us I’ve mentioned above. Please also don’t be offended if we are not able to answer each message as this is part of the energy-saving process.

For those of you out there reading this blog entry, but may not yet have a relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ or perhaps you don’t acknowledge Him at all, I just want to say that He loves you – a lot!

Shalom!

Wed 25-Mar-09 (Maria starts therapy)

Another long day…so I will skip through to the afternoon.

We had to leave home around 5:00pm to take on traffic to get to the pharmacy on the hospital grounds to purchase the anti-emetic drug (as seen in photo below) and take it at the precise time,
as well as stock up on a few other prescription drugs that are being depleted at a rapid rate. Over 2000₪ (AUD 700) later we went to meet with our trusty liaison officer (Isaac) to collect 42 days-worth of chemotherapy drug from. I won’t even begin to tell you how much this drug costs to purchase. As you can see from the photo, there are a significant number of boxes, each containing a bottle filled with all sorts of padding and only five (5) capsules.

While waiting around for the radiotherapy, we had a chance to speak more with Isaac (photo of him with Maria) and get to know him a little better.

He has a heart of gold and has been a huge blessing to us. While Maria and Isaac were chatting, I took a photo of one of the patients (actually, it's a cat) walking through the information / reception area (nowhere is sacred!).

We had a Russian/Israeli nurse who provided some information in Hebrew to Isaac, who was trying to translate, while the nurse held Maria by the hand and whisked her off to her radiotherapy session. Isaac briefed me on the way back to the waiting area. The Centre was very quiet this time of evening.

No longer than 15 minutes passed when Maria re-appeared. The therapy only took a few minutes. She didn’t feel a thing, but was a bit emotional as she said it struck her while laying there that these people work all hours in an effort to save people’s lives, including hers. Isaac explained earlier that the machine used cost over USD 97 million (only a few around the world), and is able to do a whole range of functions. They have purchased a second machine, which they need to construct an entire floor for to house. The precision of these machines sounds phenominal! This will be of relief to Ben as he has been concerned that someone might bump the machine when in use, causing the "rays" to damage the good part of mummy's brain.

We fought through traffic and got home some time after 8:30pm. I went and picked the kids up from friends almost around the corner. After a super-late dinner (second one for the kids), Ben & Gabi crashed into bed around 9:30. It’s now around midnight and Maria headed off to bed a little while ago. Let’s pray that her sleep is better than last night, and the night before that, and the night before that…

Tue 24-Mar-09 (treatment to commence, family outing)

We received a call earlier in the day to say that Maria's combined radio/chemo treatment would commence tomorrow (Wed) evening local time. This will be exactly four weeks from the time of her operation.

We decided to take the kids out as Maria saw this as her "last day of freedom", because she won't be able to venture out as much once the therapy commences.

They enjoyed the indoor playground at the local shopping centre before we went to a 'Diner' for dinner (hamburgers).

Please keep Maria in your prayers as we move into the treatment regime.

Sun 22-Mar-09 (unexpected day in hospital; Effie returns to Australia)

Today we prepared for our week ahead, with our main aim to get Effie to the airport in the aftenoon for her return flight to Australia. Little did we know...

I contacted our hospital liaison go-man (Isaac) and asked to speak with the neurooncologist regarding the ongoing head pain that Maria is suffering as you would think 3½ weeks after the operation it would have passed. We were asked to head to Emergency (A&E) ASAP for a CT that our neurosurgeon could look at to see what may be the cause. We dropped off the kids to a dear friend’s and fortunately Effie was packed, so we decided to take everything with us as we didn’t know what may be ahead.

Upon arrival we were given immediate priority and it wasn’t long before the CT took place. The results showed that things were healing reasonably well. The ventricles were even in size (nothing like before the operation), but considered slightly on the large side. Our neurosurgeon met with us and discussed the remaining tests and potential outcomes. The best case was that all was fine and we would continue towards commencing radio/chemo hopefully by the end of the week. The worst case was that the cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) pressure was high to the point that they would have to insert a shunt to release the pressure. Apart from placing a into Maria’s brain, this would set her treatment back—something we could do without.

Next was the blood test. Unfortunately the nurse missed the spot in both arms and Maria cried in pain. The results were normal.

The last test to determine what was happening, was a lumbar puncture (spinal tap). This took place about 3:30pm. Again, not a pleasant experience. The first piece of feedback from the neurosurgical resident was that the CSF pressure was high, which was not the news we wanted. When it more closely analysed, it was discovered it was on the high-side of normal. While there is more analysis to be done, they were happy to release Maria. We had to hang around until 7:00pm while Maria rested before being discharged.

We got home to the kids, who had been cared for, fed, showered and ready for bed (thanks Kathy).

Going back a few hours, Effie was collected from the hospital around 4:15pm to be taken to the airport (thanks Alan & Jo). I’m glad she was there to learn that Maria would not have to be admitted and operated on.

It’s been a blessing beyond words having Effie here for the last three weeks. There were many people who have already told me by phone/SMS that they were sad they didn’t get to farewell Ef. This is even more poignant for Maria, Ben, Gabi and me. We pray for travelling mercies for Effie.

Now that Effie has left, I will have less time to dedicate on blog entries. I will therefore focus on writing when something significant happens. So, “no news is good news”.

Sat 21-Mar-09 (outing)

Today the weather was lovely, but a bit windy. We went to the nearby Apollonia National Park (which we’ve walked to in the past). It overlooks the Mediterranean, was first settled in the 6th century BC, and contains the remains of a Crusader Fortress, which was taken by the Mamelukes in the 13th century. The reason for the visit was to see the wildflowers that start to blossom. I took a few photos, but as you can see probably didn’t do it sufficient justice.

Afterwards we went to our local beach ice creamery, which was a nice way to finish off the outing. After lunch Ben and I went out to buy him some new sports shoes (his recently acquired ones disappeared, feared stolen). He also went to the local Toys-R-Us to buy himself (with his own money) a new sword and gun…boys will be boys.

Maria continues to struggle with broken sleep and ongoing head pain, which we really want to resolve as it’s now 3.5 weeks after the operation—you can only blame things on post-operative pain for so long. We have even elevated her steroid dose (she is already on an amazingly high dose), but that doesn’t seem to have made any difference.

As mentioned in an earlier entry, tomorrow is the day when there will be calls and pressure asserted to get things moving towards treatment commencement by the end of the week. Please keep this situation in your prayers.

Fri 20-Mar-09 (spending time with family and close friends)

After dropping the kids off I headed into the office. More than half of the staff were away on leave days. I spent a couple of hours there, starting to work out the succession planning process and actioning some key items.

Maria and I took Effie to Max Brenner (Chocolate Bar/Café) for a sweet morning tea. We just love the place – in small doses. We look forward to visiting them again when we get to Sydney in the future.

The kids have a half–day on Fridays. We hung out with them throughout the afternoon, part of which involved the antics of a number of local cats. One of the cats, which the kids named “the mummy cat” when we first got here (for good reason…read on) has once again given birth to kittens, holed up in a makeshift burrow behind our large palm tree. This is third litter we are aware of she has had since we’ve been here. She was also the mother of Ben & Gabi’s “Fluffy” who unfortunately disappeared a couple of months ago. Anyway, there are five male cats which are on “the mummy cat’s” case (if you get my drift). Normally I wouldn’t take too much notice, but two of them cry like newborn babies with bronchitis, so I’ve taken responsibility for protecting this female cat using whatever means are necessary to deal with these two ferrel cats. It should be noted that Effie has been keenly feeding the female cat a few times a day so she can provide milk to her babies. We’ve seen four tiny kittens, which are just getting their tiny voices, but are still too small to venture out. If we weren’t leaving so soon, I would have probably kidnapped one for the kids.

Maria and Effie went out for a “girls video night” with some of her closest friends, in an attempt to cry. I’m not about to discuss this intimate time, but can say that I know she was appreciative for being able to share her tears and pain.

As it is usually our “family night”, a few of the guys came over. The group of us and the kids watched a DVD while enjoying some Dominos Pizza. The kids watched a little more while we slipped away and had some deep talk time. It is also a blessing to be able to speak with these wise brothers, who know when to talk and when to listen. Some similar cancer experiences were also shared, which was really helpful.

Our family has been, and continues to be, blessed here—putting aside that our lives have been thrown into complete turmoil by this monumental challenge.

Thu 19-Mar-09 (simulation...yes!)

After an early morning meeting with the kids’ school principal, Anita, I got a few things done before Maria, Effie and I drove to the hospital mid-morning to have the simulation done.

We had to wait a little while, but Maria finally got in. She didn’t seem to be in there for more than half an hour. She now has a plastic netted mask shaped just for her treatment. Come Sunday, we will be making quite a few calls to get things in motion.

After the simulation we went with Isaac to an office tucked inside one of the covered car parks to arrange a long-term parking permit as we are paying 18₪ each visit. Amazingly, we received a 3-month pass for 60₪. If only I’d known about this three weeks ago!

We had an enjoyable dinner with Jo at home. Maria was quite exhausted by the end of the evening.

Wed 18-Mar-09 (simulation...not quite)

It’s actually late on the 21st and I’m trying to catch up on the last few days of entries. Apart from being busy, my antibiotics are quite draining, so I find myself with no energy at the end of the evening to string even a few sentences together.

As mentioned in the previous day’s blog, Maria and I spent the day out of Tel Aviv. Upon arriving in Jerusalem, we went to Bethlehem (thanks Ben & Samer) to have a look around the town and do the touristy thing of visiting the Church of the Nativity.

After returning to the Hotel we wandered up the road to Café Joe (one of my favourite cafés because of the coffee) and just lazed around over a long lunch. We walked across the road and spent time looking at the Old City from a distance. I think this is one of the only times when we’ve been to Jerusalem and not spent time inside the Old City. In the evening we had a magnificent dinner at the King David Hotel (most famous in the country). The Chef spoiled us with additional experimental dishes between courses (thanks Sheldon for sorting us out). Fortunately our Hotel was a short roll “down hill” from there. I was awake for most of the night, watching and listening to Maria sleep. She had a few hours with a “wake break” of a couple of hours thrown in.

This morning we headed off after breakfast (early) to get to the hospital for the simulation. We met our liaison officer, Isaac (Yitschak in Hebrew) and we first went to meet with the Radiation oncologist. She talked through the upcoming treatment and said the hospital would invite us on another date to undergo the simulation. This was the point of moving into clarification, then assertive mode—particularly when we learned that the post-simulation process could take 10 days for all experts to examine prior to treatment. Due to the urgency of having the treatment commence, we put the foot down. Isaac was able to confirm the simulation appointment for the following morning.

After that bit of stress, we went to “The Diner” near to home to have a good hamburger.

Effie got to get out, travelling to the monastery at Beit Jemal (near Jerusalem) with Thresea and her mum (who only got off the plane from the US the previous afternoon/evening).

Finished off the day with taking Ben to tennis lessons. Gabi and I went to a great café nearby (a tradition of her and Maria’s). We also had one of her school friends (Ben) with us.

Tue 17-Mar-09 (Jerusalem, Bethlehem, hospital tomorrow)

We are in our hotel room, hoping a change of scenery might help Maria's sleep. Will write more tomorrow evening about our day in Jerusalem and Bethlehem and the awesome dinner at the King David.

Most importantly, we have to be at the hospital at 10am tomorrow for the 'simulation' (mentioned in yesterday's entry). Not sure how long it'll take and if any of it will have an impact on Maria. I'll have more to report on that in tomorrow's entry as well.

Mon 16-Mar-09 (a full day, requiring a long entry)

When I woke this morning I was hoping for, and expecting, a quiet day. Fat chance of that! Maria had little sleep again (a total of about 2 hours). Because of her continued headaches (not diminishing nor worsening), we are increasing her steroid dose as recommended by the neurooncologist.

For me, at least most of the body soreness had passed. The remaining pain in my throat and referred pain to my ears reminded me of just after having my tonsils removed 4 years ago. Obviously I’m becoming soft in my old age.

One of the mum’s from school collected the kids enroute (thanks Fiona), which freed Maria and I to get to the local medical centre so Maria could have blood taken for one of the tests being undertaken. Fortunately the nurse in the lab was gentle, which relieved Maria. However, the trick here was that the blood usually is only good for 1.5hrs, but as I needed to get to the hospital (at least 30min drive) to collect a pathology sample of the tumour (which would take some time to prepare) and get it to another hospital in Jerusalem, I would require a helicopter and pilot’s licence to give myself a fighting chance! After dropping Maria home, I made my way to the hospital at a normal pace—i.e. following Maria’s wishes. When I got to the hospital I met with our liaison officer (Isaac) and was told it could take 4-5 hours for the sample to be ready. Fortunately, in the interim he was able to take the blood immediately for storage at the blood bank.

Enroute to the hospital I also learned that my work in Australia had approved financial coverage of Maria’s oncology-related medical costs for the time we remain here. That was a blessing and answer to some serious prayer!

At the hospital, a lovely lady by the name of Judit (Pathology admin) took good care of me. It is so helpful having a fax machine at home as we were able to fax consent forms to Maria to sign and have returned immediately. The timing was impeccable because it was just before Maria and Effie headed out with Jo to spend most of the morning at Café Tapuz (‘orange’ in Hebrew), named because of its location within an orange orchid. Isaac was madly trying to arrange the appointment for the ‘simulation’, which from my limited knowledge (I’m sure I’ll be corrected if wrong) involves using a device to best map where to target the radiotherapy, part of that process includes designing a purpose-fitted mask to keep Maria’s head still during treatment.

After about three hours the sample was ready. I was fortunate to be able to pass the pathology and blood samples over (thanks Guy) so it could be delivered to Jerusalem in a timely manner (by this time I was starting to physically slide downhill a bit).

On departing hospital I received a call from my parents. I learned that my father (Henry) has been unwell for the last few weeks with severe coughing, which progressively got worse. A blood test revealed he has ‘whooping cough’ and is now on antibiotics to combat it. It may take some more months before he is fully over it. I would be grateful for prayer for dad.

As Effie is leaving on the 22nd and the vibe from Maria’s mum is that she needs to be here during this initial treatment phase, we agreed that she could come for the kids’ spring break (first half of April). This will help enormously and will be a blessing all round.

After school the kids were dropped off (thanks again Fiona). They immediately headed out for a short park outing with some of their young church friends (thanks Beverly). During their absence, Maria/Effie/I were able to sit and discuss where Maria is at and pray over all concerns raised.

When the kids returned from the park, we quickly got ready to take Gabi to ballet. Ben, Gabi and I headed off, leaving Maria and Effie behind to have their own time. Upon arrival at ballet, Gabi’s teacher was there (who recently had surgery to remove a cancer). We had a brief chat and discovered she is receiving treatment at the same hospital Maria will be. She said she would call Maria in the near future to chat.

While Gabi was at ballet, Ben and I hung out at a local café, which I should add makes great coffee and cakes/cookies. This one-on-one time gave us a chance to talk about how he felt about everything going on. He asked, “Will mummy be okay?” and that he was worried for her. This was a good opportunity to talk him through the need for this upcoming treatment, that we are blessed that God has placed us here is Israel to receive this treatment, and that we will be equally blessed with the doctors in Australia when we return for the continuation of her treatment.

After dinner and dessert, the kids and I went upstairs for prayer time. We got a bit carried away. We started with a short bible study on Exodus; followed by reciting a memory verse (Proverbs 3:5), which they already have down-pat; I randomly chose two passages from Luke 8 (“A Lamp on a Stand” and “Jesus Calms the Storm”) which led to a discussion on what those passages for us; and we finished off with prayer. Gabi was emotional at the end of our time, asking about what would happen if her faith waned. I said I would be there to help her through those times. She asked what would happen when we all get older and I won’t be around (I could see where this was going). I told her that I hoped by that time she would be standing strong in her own faith.

Thinking I had reasonably managed Ben earlier in the afternoon with some challenging discussion and getting through the previous conversation with Gabi, when tucking her into bed she said with some confidence (seemed to be possibly reflecting on that conversation only a couple of minutes earlier in Ben’s room) that mummy will be alright because the cancer is only in her brain and not throughout her body. I had to explain a bit more about cancer, which led her to asking what was in store for Maria. Along the lines of what I shared with Ben earlier in the afternoon, I was able to talk about all the medical resources available to help us fight this disease. These are challenging conversations because for us, God is pivotal in everything and we want to ensure they understand His omnipotence and omnipresence, but not see Him as a “fairy godfather” who grants all wishes like some character out of a fairy tale.

Providing Maria and I are feeling up to it in the morning, we plan to spend tomorrow night in Jerusalem. We won a night’s accommodation some time ago and this will probably be our last chance to visit this awesome city. Effie will take care of the kids in our absence.

As mentioned, this entry had some length (and depth) to it. I’m off to bed to get sufficient rest for our little adventure tomorrow.

Sun 15-Mar-09

It's 7:30pm and I'm in bed preparing my shortest entry yet, on the phone. We had a doctor's appt . Talked about Maria's progress and I was diagnosed with strep throat.

I spent most of the afternoon in bed feeling miserable with phone on silent. From the little I saw of Maria she is doing okay, except sleep continues to be a problem and headaches still there, but not worsening.

Just waiting clearance from work to proceed with treatment. Please pray over that situation.

Sat 14-Mar-09 (a mixed day)

I'm going to keep this brief as I feel quite under the weather.

After writing last night's entry I went to sleep on my favourite lounge feeling not so well. I woke up a couple of hours later to see Maria accessing the computer and at that time my throat was very painful and I had the start of fever and body aches. That progressively got worse into the morning. Effie and the kids got a lift to church while Maria and I lazed around the house.

Most of the time I was passed out so I'm not sure what Maria was getting up to, so I needed to ask her tonight. Apparently the first half of her day was good, but the second part was a bit of a struggle.

We have an appointment with our doctor tomorrow, so hopefully we can sort a few things out, including getting me checked out so I can get back on track to care for Maria and the kids.

Tonight the three of us went out to dinner with Mark and Kathy to a seafood restaurant on our local beach. We all felt a bit like we could easily have beached ourselves as whales afterwards. I wasn't up to it at all, but we all had a wonderful time. Maria took her headscarf off as it was bothering her, which aroused interest (stares) from staff and other patrons, but we took no real notice.

Kids have just arrived home (9:15pm) and will hopefully sleep in tomorrow. I'm off to bed (i.e. my special lounge).

Fri 13-Mar-09 (we are not superstitious)

As I sit here typing this blog I’m listening to one of my favourite streaming radio station (Gospel jams — WJHMHD2).

Maria had a little sleep last night. We started the day with a trip into downtown Tel Aviv. This gave Effie the chance to do some shopping at the craft markets while Maria and I had a walk along the beach (beautiful day for it) and ate a late breakfast at one of the great beachside restaurants, Manta Ray. As you can see by the photo, she looks great, but this is in part due to the alternating of two types of pain killers every two hours. I hope the increased dose of steroids will also start to help soon, otherwise that will need to be further increased.

After collecting the kids from school on their half-day Friday we came home and hung out. I played tennis on our street with Ben, while Gabi took on the role of ball-girl. Ben is improving, as we are unintentionally donating a few less balls to our neighbour’s massive and thick hedge and to another neighbour’s dog.

Effie took a little time to prepare a medical report and cook yet another delicious dinner. We’re going to miss her for a range of reasons when she heads off on the 22nd.

Maria had a visit in the afternoon from a dear friend. This gave me the opportunity to prepare and send a lengthy email to work in Canberra, updating them on developments regarding Maria’s situation over the last 24 hours. The short of it is that the initial 'critical' treatment cannot be commenced in Canberra in time, which effectively means Maria will undergo that aspect of the treatment here. As we can't see around the corner and the overall situation seems to have altered from day-to-day, I say this with some (but not complete) certainty.

After we had dinner we went to Chris and Eileen’s. As you can tell from the photos, it cooled down somewhat by evening, feeling more like Jerusalem. Maria lasted for quite a while before she and Effie were driven home.

I stayed on with the kids—the adults played cards while Ben and Gabi hung out downstairs with their friends.

We didn’t get home until about 22:40, so there may be a struggle getting the kids moving for church in the morning.

Thu 12-Mar-09 (Neuro-Oncologist’s appointment)

After three days of not blogging, I feel like I'm experiencing withdrawals. On a more serious note, the reason for this entry is because there is more news to share.

The kids returned to school today after two days off due to Purim. This also gave me an opportunity to go into work after dropping them off to get a few things done.

Maria and Effie walked to a framing shop in Kfar Shmaryahu (neighbouring suburb), after which they walked to Kathy’s home to meet the women’s bible study group. Just as they were making their way there, I received a call from the Neurosurgeon, advising the final pathology results were ready and he wanted us to meet the Neuro-Oncologist at 2pm. I called our doctor (and friend) Harvey, who was able to be present.

I won’t go into the initial issue we had in the hospital after arriving (the Cancer Centre is beautiful and appears to be state of the art), as it was one of those funny Israeli moments which I may record later in a book (only joking). Thanks to Harvey for stepping in with his language skills and proactivity to resolve what could otherwise have been a stressful situation.

We met with the Neuro-Oncologist, who was very professional (Russian/Israeli). She talked through Maria’s pathology, treatment options and then received a pleasant barrage of questions from us (we were in her office for well over an hour and a half). Without bogging you down too much, the key things we learnt included:

· Maria’s final diagnosis is that the tumour is a Grade 4 (highest level) Glioblastoma multiforme (mix of both astrocytoma and oligodendroglioma).
· Maria’s has been suffering from worsening headaches (recent event), which could be due to the reduction in the anti-inflammatory steroids. The dose has been increased again, which is probably not going to improve her sleep in a hurry.
· Maria’s Anticonvulsant medication was not effective, indicated in a recent blood test. The positive side to this is that she has not had a seizure to date (even before the operation). However, she has experienced some twitching in her right hand in recent days that caused the specialist to change to a higher dose of another medication.
· A prognosis was not clear, albeit Maria asked for this in no uncertain terms. The specialist explained most of the data is from old treatments (the new treatment data samples are smaller). She claimed new approaches and understanding has shown some increase in average life expectancy.
· Maria will actually be treated with radiotherapy and chemotherapy simultaneously (not previously raised with us). Because of this, there are potential side effects that could impact on the timing of Maria’s return to Australia, such as bone marrow suppression (i.e. decrease in white blood cells, red blood cells, and platelets, which in turn, result in anemia, bacterial infections, and spontaneous or excess bleeding).
· We will need to have Maria undergo a CT early next week to confirm Maria’s ability to travel, should there be a need to mobilise in a short timeframe.

Effie forwarded documentation to Brian and spoke with him a little while ago to see if he could contact those specialists in Australia he has been liaising with. The purpose of the contact is to gauge their views on what impact the side effects from the combined therapy will have on Maria's ability to travel back to Australia. We had aimed to leave in the next 10-12 weeks, but that could potentially be much sooner as Maria must commence the initial treatment cycle in the next two weeks.

My position was advertised today. It was a very strange feeling to see it “up in lights” and in many ways gave me a heavy heart. I hope to meet with staff early next week when we have made a firm decision on our departure time, which again will be contingent on a range of discussions we will be having over the weekend.

The three of us prayed for many things this evening, but mainly focused on wisdom when confronting the big decision as to where the initial treatment should take place and for all things to run smoothly, considering the potential stress involved. For those of you out there praying for us, I’d be grateful if you could focus on that point in your own prayer time.

Mon 9-Mar-09 (end of daily entries for now)

Maria barely slept last night, even after two sleeping tablets. She will avoid taking any more and see how she manages without. Maria and Effie got out with Kathy today to organic markets nearby in Netanya. Hopefully the increase in activity will wear her out enough to give her good rest.

We received results from a blood test Maria had yesterday showing one of the drugs she is taking (anti-convulsant) was not within the right range in her system, so we were able to speak with the Neurosurgeon over the phone to adjust the dosage. Fortunately Maria has never experienced seizures and her dosage is lower than that given to other patients.

Although we spoke with Ben and Gabi yesterday, we sat them down again tonight to ensure they understood mummy had cancer of the brain and that some time in the near future it was a possibility that we could be back in Australia. It is important for them to know this now as things could move quickly and should the situation arise for us to leave at short notice, we want them prepared.

A combination of the above discussion, breaking the news by phone to family back in Australia last night, and telling friends at school in person today has exhausted me. It feels like I hit a wall at high speed!

Interestingly, I also experienced a wave of resentment today (not of Maria or God) while reflecting on how much our overall situation may change (as a husband, father, bread-winner) as we move into the future.

For those in Australia reading this, please be warned that some of my comments in this paragraph may hurt some feelings, but it not intended. I shared with Maria earlier this evening during a walk that I have no strong desire/interest in returning to Australia. Even before this 'trial' the people around us here (church, school, work) have been a huge blessing. Maria and I have developed very special personal relationships. Speaking on my own behalf and not taking anything away from my other friendships, I have developed a greater number of "real, deep, strong" relationships in the last 18 months in Israel than what I had in the past 39 years back home. For this reason, I feel like I'd finally found a real "home". I suppose this is another part of the grieving process?! I hope it doesn't impact too greatly on my ability to develop relationships when I eventually get back home.

Being practically minded and putting my selfish thoughts aside, Maria and I are making all decisions jointly (involving the kids to some extent) with our Lord leading us to do what will be in the best interest of our family unit.

I sent an email to the Cancer Council of Australia last night. I was appreciative of their prompt, informative and compassionate response this morning. I now have some more resources for us to look through.

This will be my last "daily" message for now and will update when there is anything of interest to report.

Thanks again for your support. As it's 11pm and we have a Purim party to attend at the school tomorrow morning (probably the kids' last), I'd better get some rest. Until the next entry.........

Sun 8-Mar-09 (meeting with Neurosurgeon)

We met this afternoon with the Neurosurgeon. He is very happy with Maria’s general condition and overall healing process.

He told us that the pathology had not been completed. However, there was sufficient analysis to understand it is a Glioma (cancerous tumour). We will find out exactly what it is by the end of the week (i.e. either Astrocytoma or Oligodendroglioma), which may help with treatment options down the track. Regardless, it will require six weeks of radiotherapy as a starting point. To allow the brain to fully recover from the surgery, the treatment won’t start until a month after the operation (i.e. two more weeks from now).

For now, we have told Ben and Gabi that mummy needs to have radiotherapy to attack the remaining portion of the tumour that could not be removed during the operation. We opened it up for questions, but no hard ones have been asked…yet.

Our doctor and friend, Harvey Belik, was with us (Maria/Effie/me) and has been a huge blessing and support throughout this ordeal.

To each of you, we wanted to thank you for the prayers. We really felt “covered” and even during the meeting while receiving the news, we felt the peace that surpasses all understanding. We ask that you continue to hold Maria up in your future petitions to our Lord.

Our love and blessings
Troy, Maria, Ben & Gabi

Sat 7-Mar-09 (bad night, sick mum, lunch out, Ben unwell)

I'm currently having a number of IT glitches, so I'm trying to make this brief and get it out before everything falls over.

I woke to an email this morning from Brian (Effie's husband) letting us know that Maria/Effie's mum woke this morning with palpitations and was in atrial fibrillation. She was admitted for observation, seemed to settle and later released. We are keeping her in our prayers.

Maria had very little sleep overnight. I took the kids to church while she tried to catch-up on that much needed rest. After church, Ben and Gabi headed to lunch (mentioned in yesterday's entry) with others while I travelled home to collect Maria and Effie. It was nice for Maria to catch up with so many people. It did wear her down. She lasted nearly two hours, which I was very impressed with. After returning home, she had a bit of rest. She and Effie are now watching a DVD (Second-hand Lions?). I think Maria is going to get right through it, which is impressive considering how exhausted she appears after limited brain stimulation.

When Ben was dropped off to us later, he was under the weather,
complaining of fatigue and a sore throat. We'll add him to the list of casualties. Tomorrow the US Embassy is having a "Cheeseburger In Paradise" night. I was supposed to assist on the Coke Float with our Men's group from church but will have to pass. Providing Ben is up to it, he and Gabi will probably go with friends. We will need them distracted should our appointment proceed...

...the Neurosurgeon plans to call me in the morning to advise whether the results are in so we can meet (at this stage 13:30) to learn of the prognosis. We are praying fervently and selfishly for Maria's healing or a positive result, as I know many others are as well. We know that so many of you may have your own issues to contend with as part of everyday life, so we have valued your contact and prayers greatly.

If the meeting proceeds, tomorrow evening's entry will either be the easiest or most difficult one for me to compose. Until then...

Fri 6-Mar-09 (better day, some emotion)

Maria was still asleep when the kids and I left for school this morning. I took the opportunity to go to work for a little while, which in some ways helps me to focus on something else, albeit briefly. I spoke with Maria during the morning and she said she slept twice during the night. She even napped in the afternoon and was still so tired this evening that she is going to try sleeping tonight without tablets.


Effie collected the kids from school and they walked home in the 28 degree (celsius) sunshine. What a glorious day! Gabi decided to use her cooking utensils to make a number of recipes comprising of water and flowers from our bouganvillia, the end result looking like a vintage Pinot Noir.


On the 10th we will be celebrating 'Purim' (פורים), which is probably one of the most joyous and festive of Jewish holidays. It is based on the bible's Book of Esther. For those of you who don't know, briefly Queen Esther was able to turn around a bad situation (i.e. plot by Haman to kill all Jews) into a victory. It is a day where everyone dresses up as part of the festivities. Ben & Gabi's school will have a Purim party and Maria is hoping to go. Ben suggested that Maria should dress up as "Mrs Frankenstein" and Effie as a "witch" (full of compliments my children are). Gabi even offered to find the most appropriate broomstick for Ef!


As explained by a dear local Jewish friend, this month (Adar) is the time of "Nahafoch Hu", which means "it turned around." Here's praying for such a situation.


Ben and I went for a drive to the hairdresser to get him looking more respectable. The hairdressers were sad to hear about Maria, and I felt there was additional sadness when they realised her beautiful hair had been partly removed (I suppose you have to be in that line of business to fully appreciate that).


Maria had a couple of visitors today. It pepped her up, but the brain stimulation tires her quickly. Tomorrow is church, after which the congregation will go to our dear friends' (Mark & Kathy's) home for "lunch and library". It is usually a pot-luck lunch where everyone brings a dish to share. Alternatively (as will be tomorrow's case), Mark prepares a huge main dish (chili or gumbo) and we bring the side dishes, drinks, desserts. The "library" component is the option for people to borrow a range of books and materials from a resource area (library) they have developed over time with departing members' donations. We're usually too full of food to make the trip up the stairs, or just occupied enjoying each others' company so much. Maria will skip church, but hopes to make an appearance at the lunch if she's up to it. The temperature could be anywhere from 28-33 degrees!


Maria and I spent time tonight chatting and praying on the bed before she planned to sleep. We discussed some very deep issues. Maria wanted to talk about how we would deal with a worse-case progonsis. Her strength and wisdom is something to behold. Although we are both naturally emotional when speaking of these things (especially when I turn my mind to the implications for the kids), neither of us feel angry about the situation. We instead look to see what good it may bring to others and how God will be glorified (not all of you will understand this). Anyway, let's not get ahead of ourselves as Sunday is still two days away, although it feels like a month as time has really slowed for us.

Maria has just come down the stairs to join me (22:45). Looks like a sedative may be in order after all. On that note as it is after sunset on Friday, I'll sign off by wishing you a "Shabbat Shalom" (שבת שלום)

Thu 5-Mar-09 (sleep, haircut, walks)

Maria had her best sleep yet last night. With some renewed vigour she decided to have her hair cut (after six years of growing it to its current length). Effie did the honours. I took a few photos and video snippets of the event. It took me back to when Maria decided to undergo the surgery. She told the Neurosurgeon she had a concern she wanted to share with him, explaining that she had spent 700 shekels only two weeks before to have it trimmed and highlighted!

Perhaps the haircut inspired her (or it felt like a weight off her shoulders - pardon the pun) to walk to a Cafe about 1km from home. We (Effie included) took it nice and easy, with the last 200m (slightly uphill) being the most difficult. Maria enjoyed her hot chocolate, but did not feel she would be able to make the return journey. It was looking like a piggy-back may be in order. Just then a dear friend pulled into a car space virtually next to the cafe as she was out shopping for ingredients for a dinner she was preparing for guess who... It was awesome timing as we were able to hitch a ride home (thanks Prim).

I went into work for a little while in the afternoon. Maria napped for about an hour. After I brought Ben & Gabi home from school, Maria decided we should head to the park Ben escorted her half the way (see photo). Anyway, I'm hoping with all the activity today that she will sleep well tonight.

I spoke with the Neurosurgeon this evening and he was waiting to hear from the Pathologist as to whether the results were ready. He will call me between now and Sunday morning, with a view to meet at 13:30 local time on Sunday afternoon (providing the results are in). For those of you out there praying, please make Sunday your focus as for us it is the key day. We know that God is in control of the situation and His perfect plan will be revealed. Regardless of what that may be, I continue to hold Maria up and petition for a miracle. I have no doubt there will be a miracle(s) in this situation, but acknowledge that it/they may not come about according to my wishes.

I'm sitting here reading a detailed booklet put out by the Cancer Council of New South Wales (Australia), called "Understanding Brain Tumours - A guide for people with brain or spinal cord tumours and their families and friends." I have been undertaking other (limited) research, but find this very informative as it is "dumbed-down" for someone just like me. I think I'll finish it in bed (i.e. on the lounge).

Wed 4-Mar-09 (some progress)

It is amazing that exactly a week ago Maria underwent her surgery (last Wed evening). While it may seem fast to some, I have to admit that it feels more like 6 months ago for us.

Today there was a change in the weather, shifting back to the pleasant "winter" days we have come to know. This certainly helped Maria as she was keen to get out of the house, albeit slowly.

She, Effie and a dear friend went to a Cafe on the beach near to our home. It is in a beautiful location. She even made the long descent down a stepped slope, which is no small feat. The worst part is the trip back up, especially when you are carrying a little extra weight from the food/drink consumed.

I was able to get together with a great group of brothers this morning for breakfast (weekly ritual), which is always a blessing and an opportunity for me to see true wisdom in action (and try and absorb what I can).

I also took the opportunity to spend some hours in the office (first time since Maria was admitted to hospital over a week ago), although I admit probably an hour of it was spent chatting to well-wishing colleagues. I was happy with what I achieved in such a short time and it is amazing how much you can get through when focused and on a tight schedule! I plan to go in again tomorrow for 2-4 hours (providing all is well with Maria). I'm taking this opportunity as Effie is here as support and it is hard to know what the future treatment schedule and plans will be.

Maria had some pain today, but far less than yesterday. She doesn't like the change of sticky gauze on her head and becomes anxious at the thought. Effie purchased some alternative bandages and padding, which we'll try to apply in way that is more comfortable. Maria has also been wearing headscarves in the fashion as many Jewish women, so she certainly doesn't stand out (apart from having a battered and bruised face).

The kids are doing okay, but they have their moments. I have been seeking a child psychologist in the event Ben and Gabi need to speak with someone else in the future. Fortunately, I received a recommendation today, who I will pursue at the appropriate time.

The meals provided to date have been delicious. It is a delight to witness servant hearts in action and to reap the benefit of their effort (I won't be losing too much weight any time soon).

Ben, Gabi and I have started to get back into our evening Bible Study. Ben read two chapters of Exodus. Gabi followed with reading the devotion and asking a prepared list of questions. It was very cute and nice to have that little bit of quiet time with them, which I cherish.

We are all very weary. Maria had an afternoon nap, so she is a bit nervous that she won't sleep this evening. Effie went to bed some time ago. Just before preparing this entry, Maria and I had our first prayer session together since just before her operation. After we finished, I was "ordered" to go and sleep. On that note, I'd better finish up and get comfortable on my favourite lounge/couch. An 11pm bedtime seems far too early!

Tue 3-Mar-09 (rough day, but Maria gets out of the house)

Continuing dot-points and keeping it short as I’m sure there will come a time when you’ve probably felt there is just too much updating.

• Maria barely slept last night. She also went through the day without sleep as well, so we hope tonight will be a better one for her.


• Our friend and Doctor, Harvey (Belik) came and visited to assess Maria as today was what I would consider a bad day for her in terms of her pain. Neurologically she responded to testing so we will see how she is tomorrow – praying it is only post-operative pain (as they did some serious work on her).


• I had planned a short stint at work to sort out a few matters, but put that on hold. Hopefully things will settle tomorrow and allow me that little bit of time needed.


• Although not well, Maria had a small group of visitors from church, which lifted her spirits. She has retained her sense of humour and has no problems laughing, but is unable to cry at present.


• When the weather improved later this afternoon, Maria, Effie and I walked to a local park and past the local AM/PM (depending on where you’re from, the equivalent of 7/11, Mini Markt, etc.) for Effie’s benefit. Maria enjoyed her first bit of fresh air for some time. I have attached a photo of Maria and Effie enroute to the park. No, Maria hasn’t had all of her hair removed. She is wearing a beret with her hair pulled back, although she is talking about a hairdresser’s visit to cut it short (especially as she stresses each time I have to remove the sticky bandage from her head before a shower.


• I had a call from school to collect Ben as he was apparently ill. When I arrived and he realised he was going to miss a play date, he had a miraculous recovery. I’m keeping an eye on both Ben and Gabi as they are also impacted by the current changes in routine.


• Ben & Gabi had a play date this afternoon with friends and enjoyed their McDonalds dinner treat (thanks Fiona).


• Maria and Effie want to bed earlier than usual as the day has, like others in previous days, passed very slowly. Anticipation of Sunday’s pathology results coupled with Maria’s inability to get out and about seems to slow the clock down.


• The meals supplied and offers of support have continued unabated. The outpouring of love in this way has been humbling and sometimes overwhelming (in a positive way!).

Mon 2-Mar-09

Another dot-point summary:

• It continues to rain with vigour here in Tel Aviv. It is very much needed.
• Maria’s sister Effie arrived safely late last night. Our dear friend Eileen took her on a reconnaissance tour around Herzliya today. It’s great to have Ef here (thanks also to Brian for that). Ef also made it though the day without dozing off (she headed off to bed a short time ago).
• Gabi stayed home sick from school. She should be right to go tomorrow.
• Ben went to “special teaching” instead of Hebrew this afternoon. When asked why, he explained that this was his intention over the next three weeks as it allows him to get all of his homework done in class, to spend more time with Aunty Effie.
• Maria was not really herself today. A bit more vague and ‘foggy’ than usual and had some pain management issues. We are monitoring this and hope this will settle over the next day or so. If she is still the same, we’ll probably get our doctor and friend, Harvey to examine her. He has been kindly checking on Maria by contacting me regularly each day (beyond the call of duty).
• When showering Maria today, I noticed her wound is healing nicely. They will be removing the staples and stitches on the 10th.
• Other dear friends here are coordinating meals, shopping, and the list goes on. I sometimes feel like a burden, but appreciate our relationships are such that I am comfortable to ask for anything without hesitation.
• I’ve been off work since all hell broke loose. I plan to go into the office tomorrow for 2-3 hours to get myself up-to-date and ensure that time-critical work can be handed over (I acknowledge the Embassy won’t fall over without me there).
• Although the days are busy with being fully occupied, they pass at such a slow rate as we move towards hearing of the test results on Sunday.
• I cry in the evenings when Maria is in bed and I’m alone (like now), working through the issues and planning in my head. I don’t think this is a bad thing. Other than that, I am focused on caring for Maria as best I can (probably not as well as I would like).
• I’m sleeping on the lounge on the ground level (to give you a quick visual, Maria and the kids are upstairs and Effie is in the basement bedroom) to give Maria as much rest as possible. At least our lounges don’t collapse, creak or fold up on themselves in the middle of the night (like the one at the hospital).
  
  I just want to finish off by sharing something with you. I would hope that as many of you hopefully know me well enough; you will not think I am some kind of weirdo or one who has lost their mind in saying this. Anyway, I’ll let you be the judge. Without going into my life story, for those of you not familiar with my history, up until 2001 I rejected the existence of God. I’m grateful that through a series of events, I came to make a decision to accept Jesus Christ (Yeshua Ha'Mashiach) as my Lord and Saviour. Regardless of what anyone else thinks (saying that in a loving way as I appreciate every one of you copied into this message—also reminding you that I not that naïve, having “been around” with 16 years of policing in Sydney and having debated this topic on the other side of the table in my life B.C.), that without this relationship I would not have had the ability to cope or be where I am now. I truly believe that the God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, David, Saul/Paul, Peter, me, you (and the list goes on) has been with our family every step of the way and will never leave nor forsake us through this journey (regardless of how rough it may be). As my Christian and Jewish brethren will appreciate, I take significant inspiration and comfort from Psalm 23 (A psalm of David). Thanks for letting me share. I’ll take my preacher hat off now.
  
  Again, I want to thank everyone for their messages and support. Maria also thanks you and looks forward to being well enough to prepare her own emails.

Sun 1-Mar-09 (Maria comes home)

Apologies for the dot-points, but I want it to be punchy as there is a fair bit ahead for us over the rest of the afternoon/evening:

• We arrived home about 3:45pm and she is currently sleeping on the lounge downstairs.
• The kids will be home in a while and no doubt excited to have her back.
• Effie’s flight arrives in Tel Aviv around 10pm.
• Maria has enough medication to kill a small horse!
• Her inability to sleep has been due to the dosage of steroids she is receiving, which will commence winding down over time.
• Our Neurosurgeon will meet us next Sunday to go through the pathology results and discuss treatment options.
• Not sure when Maria will be up to visitors, quantum, duration, etc….. Watch this space.
• Our dear friend Kathy Stewart is coordinating meals (sorry Kathy). Please contact her if you wish to be involved. If you don’t know Kathy and want to contact her, please reply to this email and I’ll pass your information on to her.
• Thanks again for the tremendous support we continue to receive.
  
  It’s good to be home!

Sat 28-Feb-09 (day before discharge from hospital)

This has been a very long day, mixed with many frustrations, blessings and emotions.

After sleeping (if you can call it that) overnight on a death-trap (some people would call it an armchair) next to Maria, we were ready to face another day. As today is Shabbat (the Sabbath), you can appreciate the level of staff is somewhat lighter than on a regular day. This made it quite frustrating as Maria and I had quite a few things to contend with, without support. Anyway, the issues were nothing of significance, but when you are tired it can be a bit off-putting. I am happy that we have lived here for some time, which has prepared us for the Mediterranean style of hospital care (we also had an experience with Ben’s hospitalisation in Greece last August).

Maria’s facial swelling is starting to subside, which has also meant a reduction of pain in that area for her. I helped shower Maria today, which was the first time I had seen the incision. I think it really hit home for me at that moment. I took photos (which she made the right decision not to view)—reason outlined in next paragraph. I also decided to not attach them. What I will say is that her level of pain tolerance (in addition to her overall strength) is phenomenal.

Around lunchtime a dear friend came to sit with Maria, giving me the opportunity to collect the kids and spend some time with them. I took them to McDonalds for a ‘special treat” lunch. We sat and talked so I got an idea of their emotional state. They are doing well and enjoying all the sleep-overs. They seemed to have matured over these last days and were acting in a supportive way to each other (atypical). I told them about the photos I had taken of Maria and after some discussion showed them the shots to prepare them for the real thing. Gabi was a bit anxious at first, but when I explained that, “…mummy’s hair, unlike daddy’s, will grow back again”, she seemed okay about it. Gabi has a virus (hence the face mask in yesterday’s attached photo) and apparently she was off her food last night and slept-in a bit today, but it must be improving as she managed to eat all of her kid’s meal without ay difficulty.

Maria started experiencing some slight dizzy spells later today, but puts it down to the fatigue (she couldn’t say whether it was similar to that experienced before the op). I will be mentioning it to the doctors tomorrow.

We had a chance to sit and talk a bit this evening about the whole situation and start to think ahead, even though we understand the need to tackle this one day at a time.

While sitting outside the neurosurgery ward (as I can pick up WiFi there) typing this message, Maria came walking out. She is becoming anxious as she is unable to sleep and is focused on that fact. This is exacerbated by pain she is now experiencing around the incision area. The positive was that she walked about 30m unassisted. She asked me to get in the bed with her as it may help. The only person it helped was me (as I drifted into a sleep), so I was evicted about 10 minutes later. I am now sitting in the room, trying to type the remainder/end of this message very quietly. After experiencing an amazing winter in terms of the beautiful weather, we are now in the midst of many storms, involving much wind and rainfall (I think Israel has had a year’s worth recently). This doesn’t help her when seeking peace and quiet.

Tomorrow may be the day of hospital discharge. We will want to be comfortable that she is ready, balancing that against the need for her to be somewhere familiar and comfortable.

Thanks again for the encouraging messages. I have tried to respond to as many as possible (albeit brief) so I apologise in advance for those of you I haven’t caught up on.

Love and blessings
Troy

Fri 27-Feb-09 (Shabbat in hospital)

As it is Friday evening, I should start with ‘Shabbat Shalom’.

It is just after 11pm and Maria has been fast asleep for the past three hours. I’m sure she is exhausted from a day where she did not have any sleep due to her level of activity, with a few walks around the hospital complex. There is also quite a bit of storm activity outside. I think the ear plugs are doing her wonders!

Today was a rougher day pain-wise as her face continues to swell up. Both eyes are almost closed over as at bed time. We both had a laugh during our walks as people would either stare or look away. Maria was deciding whether to greet them with a “Shabbat Shalom” or poke her tongue out. It’s good to see she still retains a sense of humour. I have attached a couple of photos to the email, taken during one of our strolls.

In addition to the pain from the increased swelling around her face, she is being driven crazy by the dripping sound of fluid inside her head draining through the base of her skull (she calls it water torture).

Psychologically Maria said she is fine. She admits that in part this is because everything has happened at such a rapid rate and hasn’t had the opportunity to completely sink in.

The head surgeon (Head of Neurosurgery) here at Tel HaShomer Hospital has been a real blessing. They did an amazing job (removing a significant amount of the tumour without causing any brain damage), given the location and size of the tumour. We spoke with him this morning and given Maria’s progress, he expects that she could be home as early as Sunday. We also intend to play a role in that assessment.

Client service is not high on nurses’ priority lists in Israel (the Israelis and expats will appreciate what I mean), although they are really kind-hearted deep down. Most are Russian and Hebrew speakers only. This is helping my Hebrew develop, albeit slowly. This evening Marina (one of the Russian nurses) came in with a needle that she briefly explained needed to be inserted into Maria’s stomach area. Maria said that she expected it would be painful. The nurse scoffed, showing us the size of the needle point, at which time she jabbed it into Maria with some force, causing her to let out a controlled scream. The nurse walked off, while Maria and I just looked at each other and laughed. Apart from panadol/acamol/Tylenol (covering a multinational audience) and a cocktail of anti-seizure tablets taken each evening, Maria is on nothing else.

This is also a challenging time for Ben & Gabi, but even in the midst of adversity, they have been a real blessing. I have appreciated their tough questions, which I think I have managed to date, due significantly to watching and learning from a dear friend who had a similar experience in a tougher situation than ours. That experience has prepared me for now and the time to come. I am hopeful that I can have the necessary wisdom as I require it.

Gabi is a bit unwell, with a possible virus. Please keep her in your prayers. Dear friends are looking after Ben and Gabi over this weekend, which is really going to help as we prepare for Maria’s discharge.

Maria’s sister, Effie, will fly out of Sydney tomorrow (Saturday) and join us 33 hours later (arriving 10pm Sunday evening) to stay for three weeks. That will be an enormous help, especially as we will probably meet next Sunday with the doctors to learn of the pathology results.

I feel humbled by the ongoing support of everyone. I will try to get around to individual responses to emails, when time permits. The prayer, offers of support and acts of kindness has allowed us to get on with facing this challenge head-on.

I’m going to sleep now, on the arm chair next to Maria’s bed. After three days with very little sleep, I think I could sleep anywhere.

Love and blessings
Troy (on behalf of our family)

Thu 26-Feb-09 (Maria's brain surgery)

(Originally sent by email)

For some of you it will be the first time you are receiving this news. In summary, Maria fell ill, something was found in a CT scan of her brain (edema and a mass of some description). The initial message I sent out early hours of yesterday was that the pain was under control and we were waiting to undergo an MRI.

Since then we had the MRI done, which showed that Maria had a large lesion in her brain, crossing both hemispheres (mostly on the LHS) and placing significant pressure on the front of her brain. We were given a couple of options, which we independently prayed about and agreed to without hesitation. The option chosen was to operate as a matter of urgency. We were blessed to have friends bring Ben & Gabi to the hospital just before the operation (I’ve attached a photo of them just before the operation). Throughout this ordeal, Maria has had such a sense of peace.

We are also blessed that the surgeons here are the best in the country (the medical care is first rate this — just the occasional bedside manner issue). The most respected professor of neurosurgery in the country also independently viewed the MRI (calling in favours for a second opinion) and agreed with the course of action that we consented to.

The operation took about four hours. Without going into too much detail, they were able to remove most of the tumour without damaging any part of the brain. It technically went smoothly. I saw Maria an hour after the operation and she was incoherent, but recognised me immediately and spoke (a bonus). Another hour later she went for a CT, which looked far more positive than the previous one taken, in that the swelling had come down significantly and there was no post-op bleed. Again we spoke and this time she was coherent, but naturally tired. I should also mention that I also had great support throughout the day and night.

This morning Maria is in good spirits and thinking of things like the need to cancel today’s drum lesson for Ben. She is however in some pain from where the incision was made and portion of the skull removed for the operation. Her face is quite swollen on the left side. I’ve attached a photo that Maria wanted me to take so she could see herself. That was about four hours ago and she has swollen even further (looks like Mike Tyson hit her). This will apparently be the case over the next couple of days, because that is where most of the work was done.

They moved Maria about an hour ago from the recovery room to a single room in the neurosurgery dept. She is sleeping at present, with me sitting next to her typing away. She is enjoying the natural light with the sun pouring in on this glorious winter’s day. I have been trying to keep things as normal as possible with the kids. They have both had their fair share of interesting and challenging questions. I have been able to slowly release the necessary information without overwhelming them. I continue to focus on keeping their routines as best as possible. Maria would like to see them so I may bring them in for a visit (Maria has no tubes in her) tonight and return home with them (albeit they have enjoyed the sleep-overs). My only hesitation is that Gabi was very stressed some weeks ago when sustaining a black eye which swelled slightly. Maria’s current appearance may or may not impact on her.

Pathology test results will take 7-10 days, which will reveal what is next for us. They are talking about discharging Maria on Sunday or Monday. Maria’s sister Effie is flying out on Saturday (arriving here on Sunday night) to be with us for three weeks. Please keep her travels in your prayers. I’m off work for now, but will try to tap into work operations when possible.

For those of you who received my initial email (I apologise to those I missed first time around), I want to thank you for the overwhelming support, whether it be through acts or prayer. The support from our church and school community, my work colleagues and counterparts at other diplomatic missions in the country has been fantastic and appreciated immensely. Also, the SMSs and calls locally and from abroad have not stopped (and continue).

Due to time constraints in my current routine, but to be more accessible by email while on the move (there are only so many places I can take my laptop) I intend purchasing a new mobile phone later today with the appropriate functionality (large screen/keyboard). I intend to bulk email update when I can. On that note, please forward any replies to my gmail account (CC’d into this message).

If I have accidentally missed anyone, please don’t hesitate to forward this message on. Should any of those additional people wish to be included in my bulk emails, ask them to email me at the aforementioned gmail address. If I’ve included you when creating this bulk group and you prefer not to receive further updates, please let me know so I can make arrangements to remove you from the list.

I value the ongoing prayers and support—for Maria and the kids especially.

Love and blessings
Troy